Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 106839 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106839 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
She might not want me.
Which leaves me with only one more thing to say. “Do you want him, Rosie?”
Amon Parrish plays his cards close when he says these words. But I can tell that he’s a little bit afraid of my answer. And it wasn’t a question I was expecting, so I don’t actually have an answer ready.
So Amon asks again. “Do you want to try again and see if all those plans the two of you made can still work out, Rosie?”
“The answer is easy to the first question, Amon. It’s no.”
His eyes narrow down a little. “Just no?”
“Like I said, that one is easy. So yes, it’s just no. I don’t want him. I don’t even know him. But do I still long for the plans we made? That’s another question altogether.”
“How so?”
“Well, those were my dreams. So it’s just different.”
Amon lets out a breath, relaxing a little. “So you want the dream, but not with the man you planned it with?”
“Yeah, I guess. If Erol had done this when Cross was still little, I’d have settled, I think. I’d have given in to the old longing. Because if I could’ve given Cross a father, I would’ve. But he’s twelve now. Erol missed it, ya know? My daddy and brothers taught him everything a father should teach a son. So that part is over.”
Amon nods thoughtfully. “I agree, to a point. He still needs a role model.”
I smile at Amon, wondering if he’s offering to do the job.
Of course he is. That’s why we’re having this conversation in the first place. But it’s not a decision that can be decided by a mother and her love interest. At this age, a boy’s role model is chosen by the boy. Even if he did have a father at home, Cross is just about ready to start questioning authority, blood relations or not.
“I wrote a reply when I went out there to the woods,” I tell Amon.
“What did you say?”
“Something along the lines of… ‘Not even if hell froze over.’”
Amon smiles and this time, when he breathes out, all the leftover tension goes with it. Then he asks the real question, which has nothing to do with Erol. “Do you want me?”
I don’t answer right away. Not because I’m hesitating, I just want to enjoy this moment. I want to memorize it. Because this is it. This is all there is to my dating life.
It’s over now.
“Yes, Amon. I want you.”
He chuckles, but looks down. Maybe to hide his relief or maybe just to take his own moment to fix this morning in his head. When he looks up, he’s still smiling and things are different now. “All right then. Let’s go back up.” He nods his head to the stairs.
I sigh, but smile too, and look up at all those stairs.
When I look back at Amon he winks at me. “I’ll carry you if ya want.”
“I think I can manage, but I’m not saying no to that offer just yet.”
He takes my hand and we climb back up.
Amon didn’t need to carry me, I made it up those stairs just fine. Very out of breath and my legs will probably be aching tomorrow, but I made it. We walk back to the motorcycle and he unlocks the helmets, but when I reach for mine, he doesn’t let go of it. Which forces me to meet his gaze with a questioning look. “What?”
“I have one more question.”
“OK.”
“Can we have dinner tonight?”
“Um… Cross is actually gonna be home for dinner tonight, so—”
“Well, I was including him in the ‘we.’”
“Oh.” I am a little taken aback because number one, I have never dated a man from Disciple and number two, Cross was never involved in my love life—lackluster as it was.
Amon, reading my hesitation, jumps in here. “Never mind. It was a bad idea.”
“Well, just hold on now. I’m not convinced it is a bad idea. It’s just… I’ve never introduced Cross to a man before. I mean, you know. One I was datin’.”
Amon nods. “Right. But… I already know Cross.” Then he smiles. “We’ve already met, Rosie. That cat is out of the bag.”
He’s not wrong. I mean, I’ve never seen Cross and Amon having a conversation, but I’m sure, at one point during that first week when Collin and Amon were all over town, Cross did bump into Amon and say a few words. And all the older teenage boys have been talking about joining up with Edge Security when they graduate. So I’m sure that Cross, as an up-and-coming older boy himself, has also participated in such conversations.
When I take too long to answer, Amon keeps going. “Your place tonight at seven-thirty. I’ll bring food, you make dessert, and the three of us will have a nice time. That’s it. That’s all it’ll be. Just a nice time.”