Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 84334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“I said, do not leave the fuckin’ compound without tellin’ anyone where you're goin’ not that you couldn’t go,” he says, and I step back, but he grabs me around the back of the neck and leans in more. “You speak to me like that again baby, and I’m gonna tan that gorgeous fuckin’ ass of your till it’s red as fuck you hear me.” I push him away from me and stare at him then walk off up to my room not saying another word to anyone and especially not that arrogant ass.
*
I toss and turn all night remembering the feel of Blaze’s hand on my neck feeling confused that it didn’t horrify me. When Joe used to grab me, he did it to hurt, but the way Blaze done it, it felt possessive but erotic at the same time as his thumb rubbed my neck gently making my nipples hard. After the years of being with an abusive partner, I never thought I would feel things like the way Blaze makes me feel. He looks at me with lust filled eyes that scare me but excites me at the same time, and the thought of sleeping with him doesn’t make me feel dirty fat or gross. He makes me want to look at myself; differently, he looks at me like he wants me but it still confuses me, scares me even. Whenever Joe would touch me, I would cringe, and in the later years of our marriage, the thought of him inside me would make me feel ill. And it wasn’t like that at the beginning, we used to love each other. But I should have realized that things weren't all that it was supposed to be I mean my wedding night was a complete and utter disaster. Joe was so drunk that we didn’t even consummate our wedding until two days later and even then, it was him climbing on thrusting a few times, and that was it. I always regretted never sleeping with Joe before we got married, losing my virginity to my husband made me realize that Joe was never worthy of me. Every time he wanted sex, it was him climbing on, thrusting inside me until he came then he’d climbed off going to sleep. To say that I had an unfulfilled marriage and sex life was putting it mildly, I’ve never even had an orgasm, I thought I came close once, but it fizzled as Joe rutted inside me going straight to sleep once he came and me lying there looking up at the ceiling.
*
Waking that morning was hard, my eyes felt so heavy, but I knew I couldn’t sleep all day. I needed to get up, look for a job and start my damn life. I had a quick shower and headed to the kitchen, this was definitely a strong coffee morning. “Good morning,” Zoey says, and I look at her as I grab a coffee and sit across from her “Sorry about leaving you with Blaze yesterday,” she says, but I shake my head
“It was fine, he was ok, a bit moody, but pleasant sort of” she looks at me
“Blaze was pleasant sort of” I nod not wanting to say anything or think about Blaze right now, I got shit to do, and Blaze is not a part of it
“Yeah,” I tell her
“Ok,” she says, lifting her coffee cup up and I notice the huge diamond ring on her finger
“Is that a…” she nods, smiling holding out her hand
“Saint proposed this morning,” she beams, her smile lighting the room
“Oh my god, congratulations,” I tell her genuinely happy for her
“Thank you, you’re the first person I’ve told” I look at her surprised
“Really!” I asked surprised that she hasn’t rung the girls yet
“Yeah, I want to do it in person with the girls, so they're all coming for lunch, and I’m gonna tell them” I nod at her smiling, young love so cute
“Wow”
“When are you getting married?” I ask her
“I don’t know.”
“Now, is the perfect time, it’s summer, what is your color scheme your favorite flower” flower arrangements flash through my mind roses pansies orchids carnations of the colors of the rainbows
“I don’t have any favorite flowers,” she says
“Color than?” I ask having so many ideas go through me at once
“I do love purple,” she says, and I think of every purple flower than look out the window it is summer
“Oh, orchids are a wonderful flower, they love humid conditions and last really well and with the days heating up.”
“What colors do they come in?”
“Oh, you can get orchids in every color of the rainbow varying shades from whites to pastels, they're a perfect wedding flower or maybe roses, you could have them tinted to the color you want, and they smell amazing, but the heat can affect them. Oriental lilies are another great flower mixed in with some roses maybe there great for a beach wedding, but carnations make a wonderful bouquet you could have white with a pale pink maybe add in some succulents.”