Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 138169 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138169 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 691(@200wpm)___ 553(@250wpm)___ 461(@300wpm)
But it’s here like a shooting star.
Come morning, this place might be swarming with Feds, if I make the right phone calls.
Then the money Talia needs to save Gerald Grey goes up in smoke as everything Xavier owns becomes either a seized federal asset or hot evidence.
I stare into her smile, missing my soul.
“Cash your check fast. Today, Talia.”
It’s like blotting out the sun.
Her lips go slack with confusion. Her eyes darken with worry, and she draws the papers with the check tucked inside close, as if she’s worried someone might snatch them away.
“Why?”
“Because if—when—I move on Xavier, his assets will end up frozen and that check won’t be worth the paper it’s written on.”
I stand, turning my back on her and pacing to my laptop.
I can’t stand the stricken look on her face.
I also can’t help pausing, glancing back, while Rolf dances around on his front paws between us, his confusion clear. He’s always been sensitive to changes in the air, and the tension feels thick enough to choke me.
“I’ll make sure you’re labeled as an innocent bystander so the funds might not be seized when they chase the paper trail,” I tell her. “I just can’t guarantee anything. Also, I hope that check is enough. Go home. Get your affairs in order. I don’t know how fast this is all going to go down.”
I look away again, waiting for her to break the silence.
She’s just standing there, so loud I can hear her.
A person makes noises that come with being alive. Quiet is never quiet as long as someone’s breathing.
Everyone has their own special quiet made of restless motions and breathing rhythm, their pattern of sighs or subvocal murmurs, the way their clothing whispers with movement.
I hadn’t realized I’d learned Talia’s quiet by heart.
Not until it changes in the smallest ways.
Because her hurt and confusion change how she moves.
“Why, Micah? Why are you talking like this?” she asks. “Like… like we’re strangers.”
That’s all we ever should’ve been.
I can’t answer that, though.
So all I say is, “I said go, Talia.”
Fuck, I’m itching for a cold shaker cup in my hand, biting my skin with the distraction of mixing a drink. My father turned to drinking to block out the world. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, even if for me it’s the ritual rather than the booze clouding my mind.
Talia and I aren’t the right mix.
“Get the check in your account. Look after your grandfather,” I finish, fixing my gaze on my computer and not on her, watching the progress bar fill up as the files download rapidly.
It feels like once that bar hits one hundred, something ends forever.
“You’ve done incredible work, and I’m grateful. It’s just that this case doesn’t involve you anymore.”
Talia’s soft, choked sound hits my back like a bullet.
“You’re dismissing me,” she says. “Just like that, you’re… you’re…”
“I’m telling you to stay out of a very dangerous situation that doesn’t need to worry you anymore. Thank you for your help, but I’ll take it from here.”
“Of course it concerns me! You concern me, you dick!”
“I shouldn’t.”
The silence after I say that rings like a death knell.
I don’t know what I’m doing besides busting apart.
I don’t know how to take it back.
Now that I started this, I have to finish it, instead of hurting her with weak deflections and weaker words.
I am a huge fucking dick.
That’s why I have zero business with a girl like her.
Her quiet turns into a storm as my ears sting and she sweeps toward me.
“How can you not concern me?” she asks. There’s so much emotion in her voice, it’s like she’s going to shatter when it overflows.
My heart shakes.
I don’t have an answer. No combination of words will ever be good enough.
I close my eyes, gripping the edge of the breakfast bar.
Just before my eyelids turn everything dark, that progress bar hits 100%, just a little final marker that tells me this is over and I have to stop this now.
Fucking now, while I’m back in my dark closet, safe from her tiny hand reaching inside me and tearing my heart out.
I know that isn’t it. I know she has more to say.
“You what, Talia?” I ask softly, and I know I’m going to crush her if she tells me, if she bares her heart to me that way. “What are you about to say?”
17
DARKEST SPACES (TALIA)
Ican’t believe he’s doing this.
Making us complete strangers again.
No, maybe worse, because the man who revived me that day in the square was someone who smiled, someone who treated me gently, someone who—
Who definitely wasn’t this cold.
He wasn’t this strange, walled-off creature standing in front of me, feeling like he’s a thousand miles away.
One silvery-blue eye watches me over his shoulder—icy, remote. No feeling at all.
And he’s asking me to say the words that will crush me.