Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“It’s been driving you crazy, hasn’t it? I know how you can get. I should have waited to say anything, but I know you well enough to realize you would have been wondering even if I hadn’t said I needed to talk to you.”
Yes, he would have. That was just the way August was built. “Are you moving here?” he cut to the chase, but Lewis’s startled look said August had been wrong in his assumption. That truth made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. If that wasn’t it, what could it be?
“No, I can’t. You know that. Not right now, at least, though I have to admit, I did consider getting a house here…or that it’s something I might do in the future, but I can’t leave my work right now.”
“But you could leave Reese?” fell out of his mouth, and August wished he could suck the words back in.
“That’s not fair. I love our son just as much as you do, and if you remember, I’m not the one who left. You did.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. I’m on edge, otherwise I wouldn’t have said that.” Because the truth was, Lewis moving or getting a house in Briar County was the best-case scenario. If that wasn’t what he wanted to talk to August about, he knew he was in for a world of trouble.
“I know.” Lewis reached over and squeezed his thigh. “You’re serious about Clint, aren’t you? I could see it, how much you care about him.”
“I am, and you’re stalling.”
Lewis sighed. “You’re going to be angry, and you’re going to think I’m doing this to hurt you, but I’m not. I just… I know you probably don’t believe me, but I missed Reese a lot, even if I didn’t call as much as you think I should have. And this thing with Zachary…I don’t know. It made me realize what’s really important in life. I think I got wrapped up in this idea of being wanted by a younger man…recapturing my youth, feeling desired and fun. I didn’t feel that way with you, not for years.”
“I didn’t feel that way with you either,” August admitted. “That’s not either of our faults. It just wasn’t meant to be. You know I love you, and I’ll always love you. We just weren’t in love with each other; we weren’t right for each other.”
Lewis nodded, but all August could focus on was the boulder currently sitting in his gut. Everything was about to change, and he knew that, but he also knew there was nothing he could do to stop it.
“You want Reese,” August said quietly, knowing in the pit of his gut that he was right. The soft look in Lewis’s gaze said August had hit the nail on the head that time. “No.” August shook his head and shoved to his feet, pacing the porch. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to swoop in because you got your heart broken and turn everything upside down. I’ve had Reese since we separated. I was the one who called into work when he was sick, the one who took care of him and was always there to tuck him in every night. You got to advance your career, and that’s fine, but you don’t get to come in now and take him away from me.”
His chest was tight. Jesus, he struggled to breathe. How could he do this? How could he live without his son?
“He’s fifteen, August. He’s old enough to make his own decision, and whatever he chooses, I’ll respect that, but he has that right, and you know the courts would agree with me if you fought it. I gave him up automatically in the beginning. I didn’t argue when you said you were moving. Those were my choices, my mistakes, but I miss him. We had so much fun when he was in Orlando, and I know it makes me an asshole, but hearing all the stories about the two of you here…I’m jealous and upset that I allowed myself to miss so much time with him. This isn’t about you. It’s about Reese.”
August ran a hand over his chest, as if it were possible to massage the ache away. Part of him felt he was overreacting. Reese was old enough to make his own decision. He was fifteen. In less than three years he would be leaving for college, making his own way in the world. If he chose to go with Lewis, he would be with his other father and safe and loved, but the thought of being without him… August’s whole life had been dedicated to Reese. There was no one he loved more, no one he would rather spend time with. He couldn’t imagine his life without Reese living with him, not yet.