Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 164557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
I cling to them, my heart breaking and mending all at once. A law of contradiction.
My tears flow even harder, but they’re different now. They aren’t tears of fear but relief. I bury my face in my father’s chest again, Mom’s arms still around me, and I allow myself to feel the security of their presence.
I feel safe here.
I belong here.
Straightening up, I inhale a deep breath, willing the tears to subside. “I wish I never gave Tiger to him. It felt like losing my childhood all over again.”
Dad brushes hair off my forehead. “You haven’t lost anything. That stuffed animal, no matter where it is, will always be a part of your story.”
“Come on. Why don’t we go and make some tea?” Mom suggests, wiping the tears off my cheeks with her thumbs. “You can tell us everything you found out about this brother, talk us through it. We’ll get through this together. Okay?”
I sag into her touch, smiling. “Okay.”
Charlotte,
I’m not sure where to begin, except to say I’m sorry. I know saying that doesn’t come close to fixing what I did, but I need you to know how much I regret losing my temper and throwing away something so important to you.
It almost feels a bit silly to be apologizing over a stuffed animal, but it wasn’t just a stuffed bunny. It meant something. To both of us. And the fact that I took it from you in a moment of anger…it’s hard to even face that.
You have every right to never want to speak to me again. I understand if that’s how you feel. I wouldn’t blame you at all.
My childhood was total shit. I’m not saying this to excuse what I did, but I carry a lot of rage and bitterness about things I don’t even fully understand sometimes. When I found out you were adopted without me, it stirred up feelings I didn’t know how to deal with, and I took it out on you. That was wrong. I know that now.
My views on family and adoption are messed up. I’ve had to live with feeling like I was the one left behind, and it’s poisoned the way I look at everything. But I’m realizing that’s not fair to you. You didn’t choose any of this, and you’ve got your own journey, your own struggles. I never should have taken my pain out on you.
I know I’ve probably damaged whatever chance we had at building something. But if you’re willing to give me another chance, I’d really like to try. I want to be better. I want to understand you, and maybe you can understand me too. But if you can’t, if this was the last straw, I’ll understand that as well. I don’t want to cause you any more pain.
Please take care of yourself, no matter what you decide.
Harrison
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
WILL
I’ll sass your fucking face
CASE AND HIS ROOMMATE, TRAGER, ARE THROWING A PARTY TONIGHT. It’s the last day of spring break and we don’t have practice tomorrow, so it’s prime time to get loaded without repercussions. The moment we step into the house, the music hits us like a tidal wave, thumping so loud I can feel it in my chest. The living room is packed. Random people are sprawled on the couches, sipping from red cups, while some of our teammates play a drinking game in the dining room, everyone shouting to be heard. The air’s thick with that unmistakable mix of cheap beer and perfume, and the buzz of conversation fills every corner.
Beside me, Charlie looks a little tense. She glances around, clutching my hand tightly. I give her a reassuring smile, leaning close so only she can hear me.
“You look amazing, you know that? Like, jaw-droppingly hot.”
She blushes, eyes flicking up at me, then Beckett, who’s on her other side. He grins at her, nodding in agreement. “Larsen’s right. I’d be eye-fucking you if I didn’t already know you were with us.”
“Stop, you guys,” she whispers, a shy grin tugging at her lips.
I can tell she’s nervous, but the compliments are working. She holds her head a little higher.
Beckett and I exchange a quick look, and I know we’re on the same page. Tonight isn’t just a random party at Colson’s house—it’s our first time stepping out together, the three of us, letting people know what we have with Charlie.
I know she’s afraid of how people will react. Not gonna lie—I’m nervous too. The back of my neck itches and I resist the urge to scratch it.
Just then, someone calls my name, and I turn to see Case striding toward us. Trager hears him and ambles over too, greeting me with a clap on the arm.
“Yo,” Trager says. “I got a beef with your stupid dad.”
I snort. “Join the club.”
“What the hell was that hockey segment? They didn’t use my interview! They used Pope’s dumbass frozen-on-the-spot interview and not mine? What the fuck.”