Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77269 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77269 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
I sucked in a slow breath. “Right,” I said.
“I also plan on teaching you basic martial arts moves to quickly subdue an attacker,” Roman said.
I laughed. “That’s sweet, but I don’t exactly think I’m the martial arts type.”
“Anybody can be,” he said. “You’ll see.”
“Well, I’m glad you have confidence in me.”
“Of course I do,” he said. “But I also wanted to talk about your internal plan of action, too.”
“Internal?”
He nodded once. His eyes were big, brown, and so comforting I could get lost in them. “Mentally, what… happens to you, when you feel threatened? The other night, outside the bar—”
“When I freaked out like a child just because of a car making a popping sound?”
Roman reached out, gently placing his palm on my non-injured arm. His hand was warm and heavy, and instantly grounded me. “I had wondered why the sound upset you so much, but it makes sense now, Theo. You’re right to worry. If someone is after you, any abnormal sound could mean a threat is near.”
“Well, my internal plan of action is to freeze up and fucking panic,” I said, “if you want the honest answer.”
I swallowed, my throat a little dry now. I reached over to the bottle of vodka and brought it to my lips, taking a swig.
“And drinking, too,” Roman said.
“Sometimes,” I told him. “Okay, yes, probably too often.”
“I don’t know how you take vodka straight, like that,” he said.
“This is expensive. It doesn’t really have a bite.”
Roman squeezed my arm and then dropped his hand, and I missed his touch already.
“You might not like it, but I also want to teach you a few meditation and breathing techniques,” he said. “It’s a form of self-care that I think everyone could use, but especially someone going through what you’re going through.”
“Yeah, I’m not really a meditation kind of guy, either,” I said. “I’m a little bit of a mess, Roman, if you couldn’t tell already.”
“Hey. Right now. Close your eyes.”
“What?” I said, furrowing my brow at him.
“Just do it. You’re capable of it, I know. Close them.”
“Fine, but if you’re going to surprise me when I open them, I at least hope you’ve invited ten sexy naked men over.”
I gently closed my eyes.
“Now, deep breath in. Through the nostrils,” Roman said. His voice was so deep, velvety and calming that it was almost maddening.
Maybe the only maddening thing about it was that I wished I could hear it all of the time, though.
“Okay. Sure. I have breathed in,” I said after I pulled in a lungful of air.
“Now, as you breathe through your nostrils and out through your mouth, just observe. Use all of your senses, other than sight. What do you hear? Feel? Taste? Smell?”
I breathed in deep again. “I hear your voice,” I said. “I feel the cut on my arm, still stinging. I taste the hint of that vodka. And I smell… what I think is your body wash, coming from your skin. Something masculine. It smells fucking amazing.”
“Good,” he said, his voice still a calm, guiding light. “Just a few more breaths.”
As I breathed, I couldn’t stop thinking about how silly this all felt. I should have been able to toughen up and get through life like an adult. But as I breathed slowly, with my eyes closed, taking in the clean scent of Roman’s skin, I really did start to feel calmer.
When I fluttered open my eyelids again, he was still right there in front of me, looking pleased.
“There you go,” he said, his voice so inviting it took effort not to lean in and sink into his arms. Like I had the other night. Like I would right now, if I didn’t know better.
“Fine,” I said quietly. “It did make me feel a little better.”
He nodded. “That’s one thing you can do to calm down in situations where you aren’t in immediate danger, but your body feels like you are.”
“It did feel good, I guess.”
“I know,” he told me.
“Well, thank you.”
“I’ll stay here tonight, even if it’s not official yet,” Roman said. “You don’t have to pay me or anything, if you still need to process my hire. But I don’t want to leave you here on your own right now.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t have to,” he said. “But if I leave, I’ll worry about it all night anyway. If you want, I can just sit in my truck on the street and keep watch.”
“You’re going to insist on it, aren’t you?”
He nodded once. “Unless it makes you uncomfortable, I’d really like to make sure the place is secure tonight.”
“Finally having a strong, competent, and capable man at my new house to protect me? Doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all. Sounds like heaven. Especially when that man is you.”
Roman was hard to read. I was starting to learn that he was a master of having a stone face that revealed nothing. But just then, I saw a look of surprise cross over his eyes, and he almost looked like he was blushing a little bit. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed if I hadn’t been staring at him like I was studying a damn painting, but it was unmistakable.