Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 109945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 550(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109945 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 550(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
She shook her head and plucked at the bedspread, staring blindly into the darkness.
“I never got used to it. Three years in that so-called relationship and I never, ever got used to it. And he didn’t care. I was the submissive he was looking for, a naïve, stupid virgin who thought there was something wrong with her for not enjoying the mortification of being tied up and spanked and blindfolded and gagged . . .”
“And asphyxiated?” His voice sounded harsh in the darkness, like he’d chewed on nails as a snack.
“That came toward the end of our three years. It was terrifying. His grip got tighter and tighter each time. And it lasted longer and longer.” Spencer started stroking her arm again, in an attempt to soothe her.
“After that, I had a series of boyfriends, but every time we got intimate, they started behaving strangely, trying to tie me up and stuff . . .” She shook her head, still completely baffled by that. “It scared me. I didn’t want to be with another man like that, so I always ended it before it went further. I thought maybe I gave off some kind of vibe. I don’t know, like something about me just screamed submissive. It’s weird, because I don’t feel like a submissive. I was a stupid, naïve girl with Jake. I didn’t know better. But I feel like I have a sign pinned to my back or something. Anyway, a few years ago, around the time you started getting serious about Tanya, I started seeing Carter, another out-of-towner.”
“Hmm. I remember,” Spencer grated. “Seemed like a total asshole to me.”
“He was. I thought, he’s an out-of-towner, maybe it’d be different. Our first time together was normal, nothing earth-shattering, just nice, vanilla sex, so I relaxed. But things got freaky after that. More choking, if you can believe it—” She shook her head in disbelief before continuing. “The last time, he didn’t stop until I passed out.”
Spencer swore viciously and she started, understanding that maybe she shouldn’t have laid that zinger on him so casually, but he stroked her arm reassuringly and she relaxed again. “Anyway, that’s when I gave him his marching papers and decided that relationships weren’t for me. Besides the bizarre sex crap that always seems to happen to me, I don’t like myself when I’m in a relationship with someone. I really wanted to start liking myself.”
It took everything in Spencer not to jump out of bed, get dressed, and go hunting for the motherfuckers who had hurt Daff. How could she speak about it as if it were normal? She might have thought she’d given consent, but that Jake fucker had definitely manipulated her into giving it. If Spencer could get his hands on any one of them right now, he would show them what it felt like to be fucking strangled until you passed out.
And why the fuck did they all go that way, anyway? Something was up with that. Daff had her hang-ups—probably because of the fucked-up shit she’d had to deal with in the past—but all Spencer wanted to do was cherish her. Not hurt her or humiliate her. He couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to do anything different. It didn’t add up.
“Are you sure these guys didn’t talk to one another? Maybe some of them spread rumors about what you supposedly liked?” he speculated, and she shrugged.
“I thought that, too, but it didn’t explain Carter. And I mean, stuff like that gets out, right? I figure if it was the guys talking to one another, there would have been rumors. You would have heard it if there was a rumor like that out there, don’t you think?”
“Don’t know. I don’t really mingle too much.”
“If you’d heard a rumor like that about me, would you have . . .” Her voice trailed off, but he knew what she was asking.
“I don’t need your subjugation to get my rocks off, darling,” he said quietly.
Daff was quiet for a moment as she thought about the woman she’d been, the people she’d spent time with, and wondered if their former friend Shar Bridges had known about the bondage stuff. She had introduced Daff to Jake. It was the first time the possibility occurred to Daff, and it made her want to find Shar and violently rearrange her smug, perfect face.
“What are you thinking about?” he prompted gently, and Daff shook her head. She had once, foolishly, considered Shar a friend, but the shallow woman had only ever been interested in what would benefit Shar. What did she have to gain from sabotaging Daff’s relationships? Daff wasn’t sure, but her gut—while historically shitty at reading Shar—told her that the woman was somehow involved.
“I’m not sure, but I think Shar might have had a hand in telling those lies about me,” she said, feeling sick inside. “Why would she do that?”