Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 90290 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 451(@200wpm)___ 361(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90290 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 451(@200wpm)___ 361(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
“Babies?”
I nod as I look into her eyes. “She definitely said babies.”
Peyton lifts her arm and looks at the bracelet.
“I’m sorry I didn’t give it to you earlier. I don’t know why.”
“Because I’m meant to have it now.”
I kneel in front of her and rest my head on her lap. She runs her fingers through my hair, comforting me, when I should be the one comforting her.
“It’s going to be okay, Peyton.”
She nods. “I know. Because I have you.”
11
PEYTON
We have, or do I say had, two viable embryos. I suppose, in the grand scheme of things, two is better than none. I’m grateful for those two. I’m not trying to be selfish or entitled. I know there are women out there who desperately want a child and can’t have one. It’s such a feeling of emptiness, knowing you can’t do the one thing your body is meant to do. I can’t even imagine how others must feel—those of whom can’t afford to go through the process.
On the fifth day, our two embryos were transferred into me. Now we wait. As much as I’d love to be Phoebe from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and run to the bathroom to pee on a stick, seeing a negative line would probably do me in right now. I’ll wait, even though waiting is not going to be easy. I want to thank the likes of Amazon and the internet for the instant gratification I get from clicking on something I want and having it arrive at my house two hours later. Why can’t all parts of life work this way?
When we get home, Noah makes me lunch and brings it to me on the patio, which overlooks the ocean. It’s funny, we have a view and access to the water, but don’t have frontage. Unlike my parents where you walk out the sliding glass door and you’re in the sand, here, you have to take a couple dozen steps or so, walk down a path and possibly wrestle some overgrown plants. Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll run into some wildlife. Noah has a sign at the bottom of the path that says, Enter at Your Risk, mostly to deter people from coming up. I can’t recall a time when a beachgoer decided to take the path and the stairs to the property, which is probably a good thing.
Noah sits beside me. We’re sad, relieved, and angry. The barrage of emotions is overwhelming and I suspect they will be for some time. Of course, it doesn’t help that I have so many hormones pumping through my system right now I could cry, jump for joy, and beat the crap out of something.
I take a bit of the shredded chicken sandwich and hum in satisfaction. I’m not hungry, but I have to eat. The last thing the doctor said was to lay low and keep things as normal as possible. The normal part is near impossible. Noah and I are active, rarely sitting around doing nothing. If we’re not visiting my parents, we’re in the water, hiking, or having sex. The no having sex thing is going to unalive my husband. He’ll be a whiny brat for a week. Me too. Noah’s the best part of my day. My life. Being with him is like finding the answer to everything I question. It’s hard to explain.
Halfway through my sandwich, I look over at my husband. He’s relaxed with his head tipped back and his feet resting on the firepit. His plate rests in his lap. Noah’s already practicing the “I’m just resting my eyes” line the rest of the men in the family use.
“Hey,” I say, getting his attention.
He hums in response.
“I think we should start a foundation or something.”
“For what?” he asks without opening his eyes.
“For women who can’t afford to go through IVF. I’m sitting here thinking, if this round doesn’t work, it’s nothing for us to do it again. But for some . . .” I take a deep breath. “For many, the cost is out of reach, and they may only get one try. That’s not fair. It’s not their fault.”
“It’s funny you’re bringing this up. The day we had the consultation, I thought about making a donation, but then I wondered if we made it there, who would it actually help. I think your idea of starting a foundation or even a fund is smart. I bet we can ask your mom to manage it. With her still being a volunteer at the hospital she might know who could spread the word.”
“That’s a good idea. We’ll have to meet with a lawyer, make sure we’re not liable for anything and establish the regulations on how we disperse funds.”
Noah scoots his chair next to mine and takes my hand. “This could be a big undertaking, Peyton. Are you sure it’s something you want to take on right now?”