That Guy Read Online Kim Jones

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Erotic, Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 91079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
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Geeze Louise.

“Mom, you’re at a nine. I’m gonna need you to bring it down to a three before you get your blood pressure up. Take some deep breaths.”

While she does that, I share a smile with Jake. Usually, we’re either arguing, flirting or fucking. But this feels normal. Comfortable. A little awkward considering my Mom is chanting a breathing exercise.

When I think she’s had enough, I ask, “Better?”

“Much. Yes. Okay. I’m good. I’m still not good with you being there with that strange man but I’m putting it in the Lord’s hands. Thank heavens the Bible tells us He always listens to our prayers for those who are living in sin. If that wasn’t the case, He’d never hear me when I prayed for you.”

Jake smirks at that.

“Thanks, Mom.” My tone is dry.

“You make sure he knows that you have a mother who is going to be checking in on you regularly. So he better not try any funny stuff. I read in the newspaper, you know that column Connie writes about how to be an aware woman in a dangerous world? Anyway, just last week she said most pedophiles don’t target women who have an active relationship with family and friends. They mostly target those who live lonely lives. Like…” her voice drops to a whisper, “whores.”

I can’t help it. I laugh. Jake rolls his eyes and gives me the finger.

That finger.

“He’s a nice guy, Mom. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I’m a mother. My job is to worry, Penelope.” The sadness in her voice tears at my heart.

Jake reaches out and caresses my temple with his thumb. I force a smile that he doesn’t return. He’s thoughtful a moment longer. And then he does something really stupid.

“Ms. Hart?”

I dive for the phone but he grabs it and holds it out of reach. “What the fuck are you doing?” I mouth, but he ignores me.

“Ms. Hart this is Jake Swagger. Penelope has been staying with me?” He’s all amiable and smooth. Voice warm and smile big even though she can’t see it. But it falters when my mother’s tone loses its sweet southern charm and becomes matter-of-fact.

“What can I do for you, son?”

I lean back and smirk. This may turn out to be pretty entertaining.

“I just wanted to let you know that Penelope is safe here with me. And she will be as long as she’s in Chicago.”

A beat of silence passes before she answers.

“Jake, was it?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Well, Jake, I appreciate that. And while I have you on the phone, there’s something that I want you to know.”

Oh Lord.

I know that voice.

“If my daughter comes home hurt, harmed, sick or crying…I’m holding you personally responsible. You do not want me to come to Chicago, Jake. Do you understand?”

“Yes ma’am. I’ll take care of her.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, young man.”

Jake grins. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Ms. Hart.”

“You say that now. But Penelope can be a handful.”

“I am quite aware, I assure you.”

“She’s been that way her whole life.”

“I’m right here, Mom. And my phone is about to die.” Before she can say something about that, too, I snatch the phone from Jake, tell her I love her and hang up—not giving her a chance to respond, or Jake a chance to say goodbye. Which he chastises me for with a narrow, disapproving gaze.

“I’m hungry. Can we call Uber Eats?”

His face softens and he smirks. “You don’t call Uber Eats, sweetheart. You use an app. And I’ve already ordered us something.” He grabs his phone and swipes his finger across the screen then turns it so I can see. “It’ll will be here in five minutes.”

“Then I should get dressed so I’m not naked when Alfred brings it up.” I roll away from him and untangle myself from the covers.

“Alfred has the morning off, but even if he didn’t, he wouldn’t come all the way up here and see you naked.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes. I do. Just like I know Vance, the other doorman who is working today in Alfred’s place, won’t come in here just to see you naked, either.”

“Whatever. I’m going down to meet the Uber.” I wince as I stand. Everything south of my bellybutton is sore. And just like yesterday, there’s nothing delicious about it. This just can’t be normal. “I don’t know Vance. He might be a pervert.”

Despite Jake’s laugh, I can feel the burn of his stare as I make my way very slowly and very nakedly across the room. “And no sex today,” I say, doing my best to avoid looking at him sprawled out in bed wearing nothing but a sheet that’s tented by that damn light pole he calls a penis. “Or tomorrow. Or maybe for the rest of my life.”

He chuckles. “That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?”

“Nope. It’ll probably take that long for my vagina to shrink back to its original size.”


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