Total pages in book: 16
Estimated words: 14151 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 71(@200wpm)___ 57(@250wpm)___ 47(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 14151 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 71(@200wpm)___ 57(@250wpm)___ 47(@300wpm)
CHAPTER 3
NOVEMBER
I’m beginning to wonder if Lincoln and I got together too quickly. Money is a huge thing between us; the more this wedding is planned, the more the canyon expands. My dad wanted to be the one to pay for my wedding, which was always fine with me because I have very simple tastes. A few friends, family, good food, good music, and the love of my life by my side. All the other bullshit doesn’t matter to me in the slightest. It’s a point of pride with my dad; it’s what dads are supposed to be able to do, and the budget he set with me is well within the type I wedding I wanted, but this runaway train his mother is suggesting is killing me. I’ve been supplementing things with money from my savings account. I even had to get a third job that Lincoln didn’t know. I have just to pay for things so neither he nor my father know.
My DNA test results came in earlier this week, and they have thrown my life into a whirlwind. I found out that I have ten half-sisters, all from different mothers who used the same sperm donor. It was a shock. I don’t know what to do with this information or how to process it. I’ve been avoiding thinking about what I should do. Should I contact them? Should I let it go and move on with my life, then I wouldn’t have the medical information I need to have a baby safely. It feels too much on top of everything else in my life. But simultaneously, I can’t shake off the curiosity and desire to know them. However, I just don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to handle it right now.
On top of all that, I’m still dealing with the stress of planning the exact type of wedding I don’t want. I want the marriage and the guy, but every leading to that point, it is going to kill me. I’m trying to really start my first year of college, and let’s not forget about working three jobs just to keep up with the extra expenses that are so far outside of my Dad’s budget. Clarice makes all these plans, puts them in motion, and then says nothing about paying for it. It’s not the cheap stuff either, no, no, no. It’s stupid crazy expensive shit I don’t want. Who does that? I mean, I wouldn’t take her fucking money, but it’s the principal. I’ve decided she’s trying to make me leave Lincoln or drive me insane so that he leaves me, and the sad thing is—it’s working. For the millionth time today, I begin to cry. What the hell is wrong with me?
It’s overwhelming and something has got to give. I hate that I’m suddenly a little bitch about everything, but I feel defeated.
I feel like I’m drowning in responsibilities and expectations and unsure if love is enough to keep me afloat. Lincoln has been understanding, but he’s also been away in London for work since our argument about his mother’s extravagant wedding plans. I know he said he’d talk to his mother, but nothing has changed in the week since my freak-out. He could have called her and tried to rein her in, but I don’t think he did because she’s still driving me bat-shit crazy.
It’s becoming clear that our different attitudes toward money are straining our relationship, at least for me. Lincoln comes from wealth and doesn’t understand why money is such an issue for me, while I come from a middle-class family where every penny counts. I haven’t come right out and told him that, but you’d think a man like him would just know that not everyone is rich, nor do the poor like to talk about it.
I hate feeling like this – torn between my love for Lincoln and my family’s pride. But maybe it’s time for me to face reality and accept that sometimes love is just not enough.
CHAPTER 4
LINCOLN
“Where to Mr. Hughes?” Laurence, my driver, asks me while putting my luggage in the trunk.
“To my parent’s house please.”
“Very well, sir.” Unbuttoning my suit jacket, I lean back against the seat and try to decompress. I have been in London since the morning after November’s meltdown due to an overseas emergency with our distribution company. I hated leaving the country with the situation unresolved in her fair, but I vowed to myself to handle it as soon as I was back, and that time has come. November being upset over something that can be handled is unacceptable, and I won’t allow it.
Before my plane took off this morning, I called my love and checked in. I reminded her I loved her, and she said the same. She didn’t sound herself, but I can't say for sure without being able to look at her. Once I spoke with her, I phoned my parents and had her let my mother know I was stopping by to have a conversation with her. Lord forbid it was an impromptu visit.