Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
He jerked back, surprised. “Really? Just like that?”
I nodded not looking at him.
“No, baby.”
That made me look at him.
“If you’re going to do this, then you’re going to have to look at me and tell me that you don’t love me and that this is over. I want you to be of sound mind and body, acknowledging that this is your doing… not mine, so when you look back on it, you will know that you lost me… not the other way around,” he stated with torn emotion and sincerity.
I pulled the hair away from my face, wanting nothing more than to pull it the fuck out and run away from this situation. Run away from the man standing before me. As much as I wanted to tell him not to leave… I couldn’t. I couldn’t give him my heart because it no longer belonged to me. I left it on the floor by my parents’ bedroom door when it shattered and I never went back to pick up the pieces.
I looked straight into his eyes and told the only man that ever truly loved me that I didn’t love him back, that what we shared and I held so dearly to my heart, didn’t matter and didn’t mean anything.
I didn’t hesitate.
I didn’t cry.
I didn’t show any emotion.
And right there before my very own eyes, I watched his heart shred into a million pieces…
Just as mine had two years before.
<>D<>
Two years went by in a breeze. I blinked and I was twenty-eight. As much as I didn’t want to own the bar at first, it turned out to be the best decision that I had ever made. Not only was it profitable, but also fun. I got to live a life most men would dream of. I partied, I slept around, and I became successful overnight. My bar was named one of the hottest party spots on South Beach and I didn’t even have to try. It was simple.
I was good looking, and I had a staff that was good looking as well. Being attractive got you somewhere in this city. I experimented with drugs and drank like nobody’s business. I took care of my family and they never had to worry about a thing. My mom was barely working part time; I loved the fact that I could take care of her and she was finally able to enjoy her life.
She started dating this guy, Scott, who owned a mechanic shop. I approved and so did my sisters, who also seemed to be tied down by someone, but I approved of them as well. All was right with the world, so to speak.
The nightmares never went away and I was sleeping between three to five hours a night if I was lucky. I was contemplating going back to my therapist, but as soon as I remembered how much I hated it, I decided to just deal with the dreams on my own. Just like I always had.
My mom was still on my ass about meeting a nice girl and settling down, and I couldn’t blame her. Seeing my sisters and her happy did settle my overthinking mind and heart. They were happy and I wanted them to be. They deserved it. I’m not saying that I didn’t, but I had other priorities I needed to take care of and it didn’t involve women in the sense of a relationship.
“Hey,” Liv greeted, catching me off guard in my office.
“Hey, Livvy” I replied with a kiss on her cheek. “What brings you here?” I asked, leaning back in my chair as she took a seat in one of the wingback chairs.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurted and I almost choked on my saliva. “I know what you’re going to say. I’m not going to quit school and I already talked to mom and she is going to help me with the baby. But John and I love each other and he’s asked me to marry him. I know what you’re thinking, Devon, but please don’t worry. His parents know and they’re being really supportive; everyone is going to help until we finish school. We’ve already looked into upgrading our apartment into a two bedroom for the baby and it’s not that much more expensive. He is going to move in and help me with expenses and I’ll get a job. But, please… please don’t be mad or disappointed with me. I couldn’t take it if you were.”
My mind was racing with thoughts and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “Fuck… Liv… how could you—” I stopped when I saw tears pool in her eyes. I took a deep breath and leaned forward, placing my arms on my desk. “I’m not going to yell at you.”
“Okay…” she wallowed. “I really want you to walk me down the aisle, Devon; you’re the only dad I’ve ever had and it would kill me to know that you didn’t support this. Please don’t be upset with me. John wanted to come and ask you for my hand in marriage—he already asked mom—but we thought that you might kill him if he told you, so mom suggested that I come and tell you myself. But, please… don’t be mad at him. We were being careful, I swear, but nothing is one hundred percent effective.” Tears slid down her face, exactly how they did when she was a kid.