Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131209 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
And it was the first time…
I fucking hated hearing those words.
CHAPTER FIVE
<>D<>
The bar was exactly what I had assumed it would be, perfect.
“Honey, are you sure you want to do this?” Mom asked.
“Yes,” I simply replied, looking over all the paperwork on my mom’s dining room table.
She sighed, grabbed my hands, and pulled the document away from me.
I shook my head in confusion. “What are you doing?”
“Devon, why? Why are you doing this?”
I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms over my chest. “What do you mean, why?”
“Is this what you want? Do you want to own and run a bar?”
I cocked my head to the side. “Of course; it’s an amazing opportunity.”
“For who?”
I rolled my eyes.
“Don’t do that. Don’t blow me off… I’m worried about you.”
“Yeah… well I worry about you guys,” I replied without thinking.
“I knew it. That’s why you’re doing this, isn’t it? It’s for us.”
“Yes! It’s for you; now can you give me the damn document so I can sign it and fax it back to her?”
“No! I will do no such thing. I cannot allow you to do this, Devon; it’s not right.”
“It is right, Mom; that’s the problem.”
“I never asked for this.”
“You didn’t have to. Your beaten face and body said it for you.”
She jerked back, hurt.
“Fuck… I’m sorry.” I leaned forward and grabbed her hand. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes you did.” She nodded. “And you have every right to. I can’t tell you how much it hurts me—”
I immediately got up. “I don’t want to do this,” I scolded, walking to the fridge.
“Well… we have to do this, Devon. I’m sorry, but he’s been gone for nine years and I’m not an idiot. I know you’re not taking your medication, I know you’re not going to your therapist.” She stepped out in front of me. “And I sure as hell know you’re not sleeping. So yes! We need to talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to say, I have nothing to say. I’m taking the bar and that’s it. You have no say in this, Mom. I’m an adult; I’ve been one for as long as I can remember… Now please, just relax and drop it.”
“Devon.”
“Mom.”
She sighed. “Please, talk to me. I know… okay? I am well aware of your nightmares and everything that goes on in your head, okay? It goes on in mine, too. You need to give me a chance, baby; you need to let me in. You cannot keep this inside anymore; it’s not healthy for you.”
“I’m not keeping anything inside. I’m fine.”
“That’s what you say, but I see it and I feel it, Devon; I’m your mother. I lived through it, just as much as you did if not more. Now please, talk to me.”
“Oh my God, you want the truth? I’ll give you the truth. The truth is I need to take over this bar, not just for me, but for you and the girls.”
“It’s not your response—”
“YES! It is. Jesus Christ, Mom, who’s going to pay for the girls’ college? Huh? What about cars? And what about when they want to get married? Huh? Let alone everything else that comes in between. That bastard’s life insurance only covers so much and we spent most of it buying this house so you wouldn’t have to worry about a mortgage. You know their health insurance is going to run out when they’re eighteen, who’s going to pay for that? Lauren and I were lucky to get scholarships; I don’t think we’ll be that lucky with Alexis and Liv. You don’t make that much money at the office. You know it and I know it.”
“It’s my problem!”
“It’s our problem! It’s been our problem since I was sixteen. I don’t want them to have anything other than a perfect fucking life! Nothing of what I had. They won’t grow up like that. I won’t allow it.”
“What about you, Devon? What about you?”
“I’m fine. I love you; Mom, and I love my sisters, more than anything. Life hands us cards and these are mine. Now can you please… drop it?”
“I’m so sorry…”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything.”
“I married him, I had children with him, I didn’t leave him.”
“He wouldn’t have let you. You know that. He would never let us leave. He had the whole town fooled. You remember his funeral? You remember the papers? Fuck, Mom, they thought he was a God.”
She wiped away her tears and I felt like an asshole.
“Please, don’t cry. I can’t take it when you cry.”
“I don’t know how I got to this place, baby, but I can’t help but feel like I have failed you.”
“You haven’t failed me. You haven’t failed anyone. I want to help take care of you guys. It’s not a burden to me.”
“Devon, it may not be a burden now… but what about in the future… when you have a family of your own? When you want your own life… what about then? I don’t want you to look back on your life and regret the choices you made because you had to, not because you wanted to. Do you understand me? It’s not fair to you, none of this is.”