Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 47223 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 189(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47223 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 189(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
Besides, I’ve spilled too much already. What’s the point of withholding now? “That, other than my looks, I’m a disappointment. I was smarter than him in school, but not quite as clever. I worked harder and was more dedicated than him, but I would never be as successful. And when it came to relationships, I was married, but not committed enough. I was mouthy and difficult and cold.”
Admitting that makes me sob again. Derrick’s words don’t hurt me anymore. He was an ass, and I’m better off without him. But wondering if his cutting criticisms have any kernel of truth has been killing me for too long.
“I gave him everything—years of devotion when all the other girls in school had a revolving door of boyfriends. I worked two jobs to put us both through college financially while I did not only my schoolwork, but the majority of his, too. I skipped parties he attended, and I ignored red flags because I was young and idealistically thought he was the one. I’d written our ‘happy’ future in my head, the one where we were married forever. So I didn’t mind the mountain of student debt. We’d pay it back together, of course.” My sarcasm is unmistakable. “After our college graduation and our wedding, I went to work with my dad. When Derrick didn’t find another position that he thought was worthy of his skills for the salary he demanded, he joined me. I ended up on job sites. He schmoozed prospective clients. Admittedly, he was good at it. He can be charming as hell when he needs to be. But in the end, he wanted a divorce. The day he served me, he told me I wasn’t good enough for him. That I’m unlovable.”
I close my eyes, but nothing blocks out those cruel words. Nothing ever has. The moment he uttered them, they struck deep in my heart and burrowed, festering like a parasite, slowly eating away at me from the inside.
Suddenly, Josh crowds in front of me, thumbing away the tears stinging my hot cheeks. “That’s not true, sweetheart.”
“He’s dead fucking wrong,” Marcus seconds, handing me a tissue.
“You say that…but you don’t know me,” I object as I clean my face.
Marcus paces the room, violence and fury pinging off him. “We know enough to know he’s an asshole.”
Despite my tears, I laugh. “That’s what my dad says.”
“Your dad is right.”
It shouldn’t, but their defense makes me feel foolishly warm and fuzzy inside. Other than my family, no one stood up for me after my split with Derrick. Even a bunch of my friends took his side, believing his story that, because I worked long hours, I never put him first. It’s so comforting to feel as if I have allies, even if they’re just saying what they think I want to hear.
“You’ve cut off all contact with your ex?” Marcus demands more than he asks.
I nod. “I’ve blocked him everywhere.”
“Good.”
Josh cradles my face in his palm and presses a soft kiss to my forehead, then my lips. “We don’t like the idea that he could hurt you again.”
“He’s moved on. I hear he’s engaged now.” And the fact I didn’t break down in sobbing tears—or feel any upset at all when I heard the news—told me that I was blessedly over him. That’s when I realized that I wanted to restart my life with a clean slate. Just go somewhere new so I could focus on rebuilding myself and a future I could be proud of.
“Whoever she is, I hope she rips out his fucking heart.” Marcus snorts.
“He deserves it,” Josh grouses, then turns back to me. “Are you all right?”
The fact they care—that they would even ask—makes my heart do some foolish fluttery thing that worries me. “Better now. Sorry I got emotional.”
“Don’t be,” Josh insists. “We want you to share your feelings. We’re here for you.”
My reflex is doubt, but they haven’t earned that. Everything they’ve done so far has been supportive, kind…and mind-blowingly pleasurable. It’s my own past that makes me wary. “Before I met you two, I had this preconceived notion of who you were.” I tell them about the break room conversation I overheard my very first day at Force Financial. “After that, I assumed you were manwhores who just enjoyed sharing their toys.”
“You’re not a toy,” Josh says with a reproving tone. “So don’t think that.”
“Ever,” Marcus snaps, then sends his friend a glance heavy with annoyance. “And we’ll deal with the office gossips.”
Josh’s face hardens. “You bet we will. I already have ideas.”
Marcus’s smile is determined. “Same.” He turns back to me. “Thank you for telling us. Derrick the Dick divorced you—and left you with the student debt, I presume?”
I nod. “If I had fought him, he would have made everything so much worse.”