Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 97337 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97337 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
That little pep talk helped me all the way to my car and even through the rest of the day as I taught my regular classes. But once the clock wound down and the time drew near for me to see him again the heart palpitations and sweaty palms came roaring back.
I tugged at the blouse I’d worn without a jacket and looked down at the skirt that though was my size still came down to below the knee. I blushed at my boldness in dressing this way for him, feeling like a fool for even thinking that he’d notice and missing one of my overly large jackets that I’ve used as a shield to hide the prominence of my chest.
Since this was the first time since the age of twelve that I’d worn anything this daring, I was feeling more and more self conscious though no one seemed to notice or comment about the change all day. That’s because they didn’t know the reason behind it.
I’d gone through my closet this morning feeling like a teenage girl myself with her first crush as I perused my clothes. I’d grown into the habit of covering myself ever since the day my aunt scolded me for putting my breasts on the table.
Of course I was doing no such thing at the time, but realized her anger stemmed from the fact that her husband had been paying way too much attention to my young growing body.
Ever since then I’d learned to hide behind much larger clothes in order to keep her from blaming me for what I now know was the fault of the pedophile she was married to. I was all of twelve for crying out loud, and had no idea of how to use my body to attract attention.
Now here I am doing just that. With thoughts of him running through my head I’d chosen the white button down blouse with the frilly bow at the neck and the black slim fitting skirt. An outfit I’d bought because of its aesthetic beauty but never really had any intentions of wearing.
I do that a lot. Buy things just because I like the look of them even though I don’t have the courage to actually wear them in public. I’ve never been taught how to dress per se, but I know what looks good on others even if I haven’t the foggiest idea what works for me.
Now I find myself wishing I knew how and wondering what had happened to my well earned control in the last few days. It’s weird that we hadn’t even said more than a handful of words to each other in all this time and yet I felt like so much had indeed passed between us.
But it was his stare, the way he made me feel when he looked at me. The way I felt last night when we stood together in the dark parking lot can’t be denied either. Added to the thoughts running around in my own head, I think we’ve said plenty without having to use words.
Now as I make my way towards the after school class I can feel my nerves start to tingle as the budding excitement that has been riding me all day dogs my every step.
Drake
“Hey Drake wait up, what’s your hurry?” I stopped and waited for Carter as he jogged to catch up with me in the hallway outside her class.
“What’s up with you the last couple of days? Stella told the guys that she called you for some sweet time and you brushed her off. What gives?”
“Maybe it’s the fact that she shared that with you guys.” I started to say more but bit my tongue. It’s true that in the past the guys shared notes, not that I ever did, I like to keep my private life just that. But it never bothered me before when anyone made the kind of comment he just did.
I didn’t have to think too hard to understand why it was a problem now, but I wasn’t about to even think about that shit in his presence. “You know I don’t discuss that sort of thing with you guys.”
“I know but it just seems odd you know. Though you don’t share like the rest of us, you’re always up for some fun…” He stopped talking at the look I gave him and held up his hands in surrender. At least he had no way of knowing what was really going on with me.
I walked through the door and my eyes went immediately to the desk where she should be sitting, but she wasn’t there. The feeling of disappointment came hard and fast but a look at my watch told me she still had some time left.
Now I find myself trying to hide my angst from the guys who were being their usual selves, loud and obnoxious the way only teens can be. And then she walked through the door.