Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 87601 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87601 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
“Hey,” I say when Gideon answers on the first ring, the sound of his voice enough to make my chest fill with fizzing bubbles. “How did things go with Mitch?”
“Good. Better than expected, actually. I think he understands this isn’t what he thought it was. That it’s…more serious. At least for me.”
My fizzy bubbles transform into giant helium balloons capable of ferrying me across the rooftops to Gideon’s door. “Me, too. So, we’re done pretending this is a one- or two-night thing?”
There’s a smile in his voice as he says, “Yeah. That sounds good. I can’t wait to see you again.”
“Same,” I say, lifting my face to the warm autumn sun. “Maybe we could get dinner tonight? If you’re free?”
“I’m free. Assuming Adrian doesn’t need me. Thanks for the heads-up, by the way. If he’s finally turning to me for something other than financial support, I want to prove I’m up to the task.”
I sigh, my happy glow fading as I remember why we’re on this call. “You’re welcome. I don’t feel comfortable sharing exactly what’s going on—that feels like Adrian’s story to tell—but I wanted you to know that he’s scared, Gideon. He may play it tough around you, but you should have seen his face this morning. He was like a little kid. I think the stuff in the past, when his mom cut the visitations short when he was younger and the things she said to him about you, really messed him up. He seems to think you don’t like him. And that you really won’t like him if he gives you the chance to get to know him. Rejection seems to loom pretty large for him.”
“I would never reject him,” Gideon says, the hurt in his voice making my throat tight. “He’s my son. I love him. He drives me crazy sometimes, and I wish I could rewrite so many things about our past, but…he’s my baby.”
Unexpected tears sting at the backs of my eyes.
Damn, this man…
He’s such a good one, the perfect mixture of strong and tender, with such a beautiful heart. I don’t know what Adrian’s mother was smoking. If Gideon was the father of my child, I’d feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
The thought sends a pang through my stomach I don’t fully understand until several minutes later, after Gideon and I have said our goodbyes and he’s promised to touch base about dinner later. It’s only as I’m stretching out on a cushioned lounge chair to stare at the robin’s egg blue sky that I realize the pang is about children.
I want them, someday. I always have, ever since I was a little girl and wasted years fruitlessly begging my mother for a baby sister. When it became clear a sibling wasn’t coming, I shifted my focus to planning my own family. When I grew up, I would have at least two kids, but hopefully three or four, so they’d never be lonely or without someone to play with.
And they wouldn’t have to hold the hopes of the entire family alone on their shoulders…
But Gideon already did the whole “dad” thing and has a grown son. Chances are, he considers kids a part of his past, not his future. It’s something we’d have to discuss if things got serious between us, but even the chance that he wouldn’t be interested in starting another family isn’t enough to scare me away. Gideon’s too special for that. So is the way I feel when I’m with him, like the bravest, best version of myself.
On impulse, I text my dad, suddenly not wanting to leave this conversation until Monday at the office—Hi, Dad, I hope you’re having a great weekend. I just wanted to let you know that my audit of the company structure is taking longer than expected. Now that I’m in the weeds, it’s clear things are more complicated than I anticipated, and I don’t want to miss anything. But I feel confident I’ll have this tied up and my suggestions for reorganization to you by mid-October.
My thumb hovers over the screen, my pulse picking up as I imagine my father’s reaction, but I push the anxiety aside and hit send. Then, just to prove to myself that I’m serious about my new, boundary-friendly lifestyle, I add—And I’d love to be more involved in the retrofitting project for the shelter in the Bronx. I think it would be a great way to learn more about the charitable wing of the organization and put my area of expertise to use.
It’s true—reimagining spaces to make them more energy efficient and sustainable in a warming world, is my area of expertise. But a quick search of the company database after Adrian left also confirmed my suspicion that G.P.G. Green is our contractor on that project. Taking a more active role in the reimagining of the space will give me the chance to prove to Mitch that I’m a worthy new ally and maybe…if Gideon ends up staying in town…