Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 129323 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 647(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129323 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 647(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
“You’re right. There’s no way.” Her lips are set in a thin line. She looks off to the side. “Except…”
I turn toward her fully, eyebrows raised in an out with it expression.
“I could.” She sticks one shoulder out like she’s a big deal.
I laugh without humor. Emma’s always trying to lighten the mood, but I’m not into it tonight. Not when it concerns Slate.
“Yeah, okay.” I make it clear by my tone that I’m not here for her shenanigans tonight.
She places the popcorn down and scoots closer to me, wiping her buttery hands on her pants.
“I’m serious. I happen to have some intel that he’s staying at the hotel a few blocks away.”
My eyes narrow in on my friend. Moments ago, she acted as though she didn’t have a clue who he was. Just another hot hockey player. What’s this about?
“How do you know that? Better yet, why do you know?”
“You forget I work there. The whole team is staying at the hotel. I bet I can find out the room.” She waggles her eyebrows as though we’re embarking on a mission together.
This is the most exciting thing she’s been part of. She forgets what something like this would do to her if it backfires.
“You’ll get fired, Em.”
She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth. “But only if someone finds out.” She places her hand on my shoulder. “I can tell this guy means something to you. That isn’t normal, Cass. You have to go see him.”
I lean back and contemplate what she’s said. Her idea is all sorts of risky for a million reasons.
“No. I can’t put you in that position. This whole idea is crazy.”
Crazy, because I don’t know how he’d react. What would he even say if he saw me?
He never came back for me. Never bothered to visit the trailer park once he left. Never cared to check in.
He got his dream and never looked back.
As soon as I turned eighteen and graduated from high school, I got the hell out of there. That’s when I finally came to terms with the fact that the ship had sailed. I’d never see him again. Our lives had gone in different directions, and he chose that.
Then there was also the day I legally changed my last name. Started a fresh life.
And effectively making it impossible for him to find you.
I push that thought away. I did what I did to shield myself. If I made it difficult for him, then I could convince myself he’d tried, and my actions prohibited it. I could lie to myself. Trick my brain into thinking he actually attempted.
It’s pretty pathetic.
Why would I want to start the grieving process all over again? Why would I even consider setting myself up for rejection?
After all this time, it just seems like a bad idea.
Except all my efforts to forget have resulted in nothing. Maybe it’s closure that I need.
Closure I deserve.
The thought of being around him again, albeit in a different setting, sends a thrill through my veins.
My mind buzzes with the possibilities. Would he be surprised to see me? Would I get an apology? Would he even remember me?
He better.
I don’t know what I’d do if he didn’t. For almost a year of my life, he was my reprieve from the hell I was living in, and I thought I was his. Sure, I was just a kid at the time, but I knew I was the only person he had. He has to remember me, right?
To be turned away by him would be another form of torture for that little girl he left behind.
But I’m not that little girl anymore.
He only knew me as Pippa, my middle name. I’m Cassidy, a grown-ass woman who can more than handle rejection.
You’re also homeless and jobless…
Pathetic.
Yet as the tequila continues to flow and my inhibitions fade, the idea grows more appealing.
Liquid courage has a way of clouding judgment. A fact I know all too well and have always tried my best to stay away from.
Being rational is something I’ve had to be my whole life.
The desire to be nothing like my father gave me the strength to keep my head on straight.
But what would it be like for just a brief minute to pull down my walls and do something nuts?
Like showing up at the hotel of my childhood friend.
“I see you contemplating.”
I sigh, giving in. “I think I’m going to go see him,” I say, uncertainty evident in my voice.
Emma’s eyebrows shoot up, and a mixture of surprise and concern etches across her face. “Wow. Okay. I mean…I said you should…but I guess I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” She worries at her bottom lip. “Are you sure, Cassidy? I know it was my idea, but maybe you’re right. It’s pretty late.”
“It’s now or never. The liquid courage will wear off by morning.”