Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 44088 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 220(@200wpm)___ 176(@250wpm)___ 147(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44088 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 220(@200wpm)___ 176(@250wpm)___ 147(@300wpm)
Kail moves me as if I do not weigh anything at all, hefting my hips over pillows to keep my ass up, bared and vulnerable for this next round. I can feel my sex being exposed, and I know that he can see the thing I’ve been denying this whole time: my arousal.
He picks a belt from the closet, one of my leather belts designed to keep my pants up. I already know what that will feel like. A slapping sensation, more shallow than the brush or his hand, less damaging, but more painful. I know this because there were times in the past where I used that very same belt he’s now holding on myself.
I did it alone, in between missions, when guilt started to get on top of me, when I felt like there would never be anybody in the universe for me.
It’s different when he uses it. It’s harsher and snappier and much more sore. It’s also warmer and much more loving. Every time that belt connects with my ass, I contract and then expand, toes curling and then relaxing. Behind my back, my fingers flex. I hiss between my teeth, and I squirm, though the squirm is more like an undulation.
Kail whips the belt down a good dozen times before pausing to observe the effects of his work. I cannot see my ass, but I can imagine how it must look, bright red and marked with fresh belt swats, my thighs parted enough to allow the tip of the leather to intermittently lick between my legs.
“I’ve realized something,” he says. “You’re up to your old tricks. Trying to manipulate me rather than simply asking for what you want.”
“No,” I deny in a whine.
That is a mistake.
“We agreed not to deceive one another, Tarni. We promised to stop playing games.”
“Right,” I say. “But I’m a liar.”
“You haven’t lied to me in months. Not since we escaped my world. You have reverted with the return of the Colony, and I will not have it.”
“What are you going to do? Spank me?”
“No,” he says. “I am going to leave you there and let you think about what you have done. I know what you are afraid of, Tarni. It’s not pain. It has never been pain. I’m going to check on the baby. Don’t you dare think about moving.”
With that, he leaves me, shutting the door of the cabin firmly behind him. My indiscreet position is not exactly uncomfortable, nor is it inescapable. I’ve escaped a lot more difficult situations than a dressing gown wrist tie. I am bound quite securely, but it’s not really the ties that are keeping me where I am. It’s the sheer weight of Kail’s very real disappointment. This stopped being fun when he got genuinely upset.
I’ve failed him. And I guess I’ve failed myself, though I care a lot less about that.
I can hear Kail moving down the passage and opening the door to the baby’s room. The sounds are very muffled, just barely audible until they step out into the hall again.
“Hey, little buddy,” Kail says through the wall.
He’s getting Nemo up and feeding him. He’s a good father, even though he denies being one. I know how frightened he is of what he considers failing another family. I know he’d probably rather never have dealt with Nemo at all. Our life was complicated enough before adding a baby to the mix. But he’s stepping up, and I can hear how happy Nemo is to see him.
“Kawkaw!”
“Yep. Kawkaw,” Kail says. “How about some fish and potato?”
“Ish n tato,” Nemo repeats.
This is a much worse punishment than any physical one. I’m being left to not only think about what I’ve done and how much I’ve disappointed Kail, I’m also shut out of getting to see Kail and Nemo together.
Kail takes Nemo to the galley, and I am left entirely and completely alone. I wonder what would happen if the Colony caught up with us right now, but only briefly because that’s a distraction from what I am supposed to be thinking about.
Kail wants me to be sorry for lying to him, for eroding our relationship by tricking him into beating me. He wants my honesty. That shouldn’t be so much to ask, but I’ve never shared these proclivities of mine with anyone before, not even him.
“I’m sorry,” I say when Kail returns about an hour later. “But these parts of me, they’re top secret. Need-to-know only. I barely know about them. It was just easier to… do what I did than think about everything I wanted and needed and why and then express that to you. I know it’s fucked up to want to be beaten.”
“I don’t think that is fucked up. You need strong stimulation to allow you to connect with your feelings, because you have buried them so deeply they are barely able to be found. I will gladly punish you, Tarni. It brings me satisfaction to do so. But you will ask me for it, with your words.”