Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
I walk ahead of them, hurrying to him. Saul spots me and walks in my direction. When I reach him, I throw my arms around him and hug him tight, and he hesitates before hugging me back.
“You good?” he asks.
Which makes me hug him tighter. Because of course he’s asking about me first. “I’m fine. What happened?”
“Renzo wasn’t happy.”
“How bad?”
“Very bad. We can talk about it later.” He kisses my cheek and I can tell he’s struggling to keep it together. “I want you to meet Gian.”
We go through introductions. Gian is Allegra’s husband, and I can see the chemistry between them instantly. He’s more reserved and soft-spoken, which is a contrast to Allegra’s big mouth, but they make a good couple.
“You need to talk to your husband,” Gian says, his expression turning dark. “That shit back there wasn’t good.”
“Oh, great. What did he say?” Maddie looks very uncomfortable as she edges toward the house.
“I’m dead to him.” Saul looks away, out toward the garden, as if he’s seeing it for the last time.
“Renzo,” Maddie mutters, exasperated. “That’s too far.”
“That’s what I said,” Gian agrees.
“So what?” Stefania asks, looking around. “He’s pissed, but so what?”
“If I’m dead to Renzo, that means I’m dead to the Famiglia. Which means I’m banished, basically.” He moves closer, squeezing me against him. My heart skips a beat as the weight of it becomes clear.
“Saul, I’m so sorry,” I say but he’s shaking his head.
“It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“It’s not fucking fine,” Stefania says, looking furious. “It’s bullshit.”
“I’ll talk to him.” Maddie’s already at the door. “You all just stay calm, okay? We don’t need to escalate things.” She disappears inside.
“Ever since Renzo became the Don, he’s been such a dickhead.” Stefania storms after Maddie, which I suspect won’t help much.
Allegra remains with Gian. I can tell she wants to follow, but there’s a complicated history and maybe she wouldn’t be able to help all that much.
“We’re heading out,” Saul announces and takes my hand. I hate the look on his face—he’s doing his best to hide his suffering, but I know him well enough by now. This is a nightmare for him. This family is everything, and if Renzo’s kicking him out, that means he’s losing a piece of himself. “Don’t get yourself in more trouble because of me,” he says.
“Don’t worry about us.” Gian glares back at the house. “Worry about Renzo.”
“It was great meeting you,” Allegra says. “I’m sorry for all this weirdness. It’s not usually so stressful around here.”
Saul pulls me away after we say our goodbyes, and once we’re alone in the car, I pull his face toward me and kiss him.
That doesn’t seem to help. He’s not hiding his pain anymore, and it’s like the joy’s been sucked from him, dragged from his skin and left to burn in the sun. I don’t know how to help—I can’t put him back together.
“We’ll be okay,” he says, and of course now he’s trying to comfort me.
“Renzo will change his mind. I promise, he’s going to.”
“Maybe.” He puts the car in gear. “But I don’t know if I want him to.”
“Saul, you don’t mean that.”
“I have you.” Some of his smile comes back. “I have the baby. Hell, I even have Nana and Jason.”
“For better or worse, yeah, you’re stuck with those two jokers.”
“I love you, Molly. I love your family too. If I have to close the book on this, I can open a new one with you.”
“Saul—”
“It’s okay.” He leans across and kisses me. “Let’s go home.”
We drive away, and I don’t feel right. He can act brave, pretend like he’s moving on, but I know that’s all for show. He doesn’t want me to know how much he’s in pain right now.
But he stepped up when I needed him. He keeps on stepping up and keeps on taking on more. And I’ll do the same for him, even if I don’t know how yet.
Chapter 31
Saul
It feels like a piece of my body was ripped off by a woodchipper. Which is the only thing I’ve ever used a woodchipper for: destroying human limbs.
I knew Renzo would be angry. I understood he’d feel like I betrayed him. When I went to the house, I fully expected him to shout at me, and afterward, I assumed we’d work it out. Maybe that part wouldn’t be pretty, maybe I’d take some kind of punishment within the Famiglia to paper over my disobedience, but I never once imagined he’d cast me aside like that.
As if I hadn’t given everything to my family already.
I try not to dwell. Molly helps with that. I throw myself into her and obsess over her comfort. I probably annoy the hell out of her with how much I’m talking about the coming baby, going over her birth plan, reading parenting books, basically doing anything to make me feel normal again instead of like an open wound.