Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“You’d do the same for me.”
We hang out for a while longer to make sure that Jason’s okay. Saul makes small talk and tells more exaggerated stories about guys he knows in the mafia. Once it’s clear that Jason’s fine, I go say goodbye to Nana. When I get out, Jason’s got the PlayStation going again. But this time, it’s a different game
“Want to try this?” he asks Saul. “Hopefully it doesn’t trigger me again.”
Saul catches my eye and shakes his head. “I probably shouldn’t. We’ve got to get going, and maybe you should take a break.”
“Word, no worries.” Jason’s already looking more like himself as he drinks the water and sits cross-legged on the couch. “I’m good. Seriously, that’s my one event for the whole month.”
“We can stay,” I offer. “If you want. I can sleep here.”
“Seriously, I’m good.” He pauses his game and looks up at Saul. “Thanks, man. I’m normally a little more embarrassed when I piss myself.”
“I’ve seen a lot worse.” Saul squeezes Jason’s shoulder and I nearly start crying. I have to bite my lip to keep myself under control. Most people are kind to Jason when they find out about his epilepsy, but there are few people who still treat him like he’s totally normal. It’s not until we’re downstairs that I turn and throw myself at him.
“Easy there,” he says, surprised, but I hug him so tight I feel like I might crack in half. The tears finally break free, and I cry into his muscular chest. I can tell he’s not sure what the heck is going on, and I can’t blame him.
I pull back and wipe my face. “Thank you. Seriously, thanks for what you did back there.”
“For what? Jason?” He looks confused. “The guy’s my brother-in-law. All I did was make him comfortable and joke about his incontinence.”
“You don’t understand. Most people lose their shit when they see one of his seizures, but you were calm. You actually did everything right.”
“I watched a couple YouTube videos on what to do,” he admits with a shrug as if that’s no big deal and I swear it makes my ovaries start singing his praises in Latin.
His nonchalance makes me fucking cry again, because of course he watched some casual videos on how to deal with a seizure. He knew Jason’s got epilepsy, and Saul’s the kind of man who would familiarize himself with how to deal with that disease, even if I never told him to. I hug him tightly, and he’s laughing as he strokes my hair.
“You’re such a dick,” I say and look up at him. “But you’re the best dick in the world.”
“That’s a confusing compliment, but I’ll accept it.”
“Seriously, watching you with him in there—” I stop myself and stare into his eyes. I get on my toes and kiss him gently, reaching up to run my fingers through his thick, dark hair. He murmurs a pleasant little growl and kisses me back.
“If this is how you’re going to respond every time I look after your brother, I hope he has more seizures when I’m around,” he says, which makes me slap his arm.
“Don’t ruin it.”
He takes my hand in his and squeezes it. “I told you I’d take care of you and your family. I wasn’t kidding.”
“People say things all the time.”
“And I mean them.” He kisses me again then steers me outside. We walk to the car, holding hands.
When I saw the way Saul was handling Jason, a feeling clicked into place. It was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen a man do before—which is kind of bizarre, I’m fully able to admit that—but it unlocked an emotion I’ve been trying to avoid. All this time, I’ve been terrified of getting too close to Saul, because I thought it might mean that I’d let down my family in some way.
I was so freaking wrong.
He’s good for them. Nana seems happier, less stressed, and Jason’s got someone to help look after him. I don’t need to do it all alone anymore. My little brother’s stepping up to shoulder some of the burden, and my new husband’s handling all the rest.
Before Saul, I felt like I was grinding my way through each day, barely surviving, holding on just to hold on some more.
Now I can breathe. I have space to move around. I can stretch, laugh, plan for the future.
And I don’t have to be afraid.
It’s strange how the fear has always been there, and the absence is like waking up on a lazy Sunday morning. I’m opening my eyes for the first time in what feels like forever.
Chapter 20
Molly
My diner shifts get a lot easier once the morning sickness starts to fade. I manage to make it an entire week without praying at the porcelain shrine. Marsha’s still helpful, but at least I don’t need to run to the bathroom all the time. Even Cathy can’t complain about that.