Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82121 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
But it still doesn’t feel good, knowing that he’s ashamed of me.
I shower and get dressed in comfies. I’m exhausted from everything and end up scrolling through my phone in bed, and my eyelids are heavy when Saul appears in the room. He brushes his teeth, turns out the lights, and gets into the bed next to me. I’m suddenly very aware of him in the darkness and I turn off my phone, placing it on the nightstand.
I don’t know how I’m going to sleep with this man next to me.
“I’d show you off if I could,” he says and at first, I’m not sure I heard him right, because I don’t think anyone’s ever wanted to show me off before.
“I find that hard to believe. What’s there to show?”
“I understand you have this idea of yourself, but you’re beautiful, Molly.”
I smile to myself in the darkness, lying on my back, staring up at the ceiling. “I don’t know about that. I’m okay. My tips aren’t any better than anyone else’s at the diner.”
“Believe me, men look at you. Drives me fucking crazy, actually.”
“Is that jealousy?”
“Get used to it. But what I’m trying to say is, I don’t want to hide you. I want to drag you all over town and let every single made man in Philly see me with a woman like you on my arm. But I can’t.”
“Because of the war.”
“You make it sound like I’m making this shit up.”
“I know you aren’t. There’s fighting going on in the city. We all read about it in the papers. But Saul, I have nothing to do with any of it. My cousin’s barely involved, and my uncle’s been in prison for years. I’m not in that life.”
“Doesn’t matter.” He’s staring at me in the darkness, propped up on one elbow. I look at his mouth then down to his muscular chest. And my god, when did he take his freaking shirt off? “All my family will see is red hair and an Irish name.”
“Okay, I get it. You don’t have to keep explaining.”
“But I feel like I do. You got upset at dinner.”
“I’m just getting used to this still. Can you really blame me?”
He shifts closer. My heart starts beating fast, but I don’t move. “I’m getting used to it too.”
I want him. I need that night back. Not only for the sex—but definitely for that too—but for the intimacy we had. That night was so easy. We fucked, kissed, laughed, made out, fucked some more, and everything was comfortable. Now there’s like a gauze between us, a thick webbing holding us apart. I don’t know how to break through it, and I’m not sure things would be better if I did, but at least they’d be simpler.
I turn my back to him. If I don’t, I’m going to let him touch me, and we both know that’ll only complicate things. I’m just not ready.
I feel him looking at me. If he reaches out and brushes his fingers across my skin, he’d feel goosebumps. If he cupped my breasts, he’d know my nipples are rock hard. If his fingers slid down between my legs—
But he does none of that, and I don’t ask him to.
Chapter 13
Saul
I can’t get anything done. I spend all morning staring out the window of my office in the Rossi mansion watching butterflies flit between bushes.
I should have done more last night. Molly’s having a hard time coming to grips with our situation and she really thinks I’m hiding her because I’m ashamed of her. Shame has nothing to do with it—I’d be proud to have her on my arm.
I’m keeping her to myself because my family wouldn’t be able to accept her, not right now, and I’m in this for the long run. I want to introduce her when it makes more sense, when my soldiers and my brothers won’t flip the fuck out.
She can’t see that though, and I need to find a way to make her understand.
I finish my fourth cup of coffee and stretch. I’m fucking exhausted. I wasn’t able to sleep much. I was awake half the night listening to her breathing, and there were a thousand times that I wanted to reach out and wake her up, to kiss her, to press her into the mattress and feel her squirm beneath me, but I have a surprising reserve of willpower available. I resisted, and now I wish I hadn’t.
Fuck, I want that night back. When things were simple. Only I’ll have to earn it if I’m ever going to taste her that way again, and I’m determined to make it work.
I get up and leave my office to get a coffee refill. Before I reach the kitchen, Dante steps out from one of the many side rooms and strides over with a determined scowl. I almost roll my eyes—I’ve managed to avoid him for a few days, but my luck was bound to run out eventually.