Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 96454 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 482(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96454 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 482(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Then a gleam hits his eyes, and I realize this is going to get bad. “Oh, you do. You absolutely need me to save you, but I thought it was from a little embarrassment about a bad relationship and some business mistakes anyone could have made. It’s deeper than that, isn’t it? The person I need to save you from is you.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I’ve spent too much of the day under a microscope, and it’s starting to get to me.
“It means you’re being ridiculous about this,” he replies. “This isn’t anything we should be worrying about right now. I know CeCe needs to bring massive drama to what is essentially a minor problem.”
“It’s not minor. It’s huge. It could derail everything we’re trying to do.”
He points my way. “Everything you’re trying to do. You’re the one who needs to be the best at everything, Ivy. All I want is to build my project and hopefully help a few people along the way, and that’s good enough for me. But it’s never going to be good enough for you, is it?”
Oddly, I know he’s the one saying the words. I can hear them coming out of his mouth, but it’s my mother’s voice I hear.
The things I care about are all wrong. What I need is wrong. How I work is wrong.
“Ivy, I didn’t mean it that way.” He takes a deep breath, and his expression has softened. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I only meant I wish you didn’t feel like the world is on your shoulders.”
“Well, it has to be because no one else takes it seriously.”
“You don’t trust anyone enough to handle it,” he says, and there’s very little accusation in his tone.
But I don’t need much to get me going. “Heath, you told me flat out you didn’t want to handle it. You wanted me to do all the heavy lifting so you could be the creative genius. And you are. I’m not arguing with you about that, but you can’t have it both ways. You can’t hand over all the business responsibilities to me and then accuse me of taking them too seriously. You might be content with what you have. Hell, maybe I would be, too. I know we joke about your crappy apartment, but at least you have one. And I know what it costs, and you can’t afford it. How big is your trust fund, Heath?”
His mouth goes tight. “I’m not living some high life.”
“No, but you’re also not worried about money,” I point out. “Seriously? How big is it?”
“Not so big I can fund things myself but big enough I don’t have to worry about making money,” he admits. “And since you’re so interested, one day it’ll be even bigger because I’m my grandmother’s only heir. Do you want to accuse me of being rich?”
“I don’t want to accuse you of anything. That’s what you don’t understand. I am so sick of being vilified for having dreams and goals, and yes, they include money, but when you grow up like I did, you realize how different the world is without it. And you might be perfectly fine with this all imploding, but we have two employees who count on us for a paycheck. They don’t have trust funds. I will not play with their livelihoods.”
His expression falls. “I’m not doing that. Look, I’m sorry. This is a stupid fight. I will admit that I was feeling insecure the night of the party and I was stupid. I puffed up and tried to save face with a guy who I normally wouldn’t give the time of day to. I don’t even know why. Maybe it was because I sort of fell for you the minute you walked in my door.”
“It’ll pass.” I can’t help but remember that once Nick had said something similar to me. He’d told me he’d known how right we would be for each other within a few minutes of meeting me.
The problem isn’t meeting me. It’s living with me. It’s dealing with the complex and often frustrating person I can be. I’m never going to want to play a costarring role in my own life. I cannot simply be someone’s girlfriend. If I have to choose between having a man and being the person I think I should be, I made that choice long ago.
I will always choose me.
I just thought for a little while he wouldn’t make me choose at all.
“No, it won’t,” he insists.
I shake my head and start for the door. “It will. It always does. I’m going to take the rest of the day off and you can decide if you want to continue this working relationship or if you want to find someone else to handle that side of the business. I can give you a few names, but you’ll have to pay them.”