Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 60940 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60940 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Exposed.
Vulnerable.
Laying it all out for him to finally know how I feel about him.
“You’re leaving tomorrow,” he reminded in a ragged tone.
I looked deep into his eyes and rasped, “So then give me something to come home to.”
Neither one of us said anything for what felt like forever. We just stood there, staring into one another’s eyes and searching for answers in the forefront of our chaotic minds. I don’t know how long we stayed like that. It could have been minutes or hours. Everything seemed to blend.
The past.
Present.
Future.
It was a kaleidoscope of mixed emotions and memories, shining blindly at us until everything was about to change between us. What happened next was a moment I’d never forget. It’d haunt all of my feelings about us, replacing all the good ones with this bad.
With one last look at me, he let go of my hands.
I felt the loss of his touch.
His warmth.
His affection.
Swiftly, he grabbed the throw blanket off his bed and draped it around my shoulders, covering my bare body with it. Instantly making me feel foolish.
Rejected.
Undesired.
“I can’t,” he sincerely stated, putting an end to us before we had a chance to begin.
“Because of my brother?”
“He’s just one of the many reasons.”
“And what are the others?”
“Hazel. I just…” He pulled his hair away from his face like he wanted to rip it out. With a tormented expression, he added, “Your first time should be with someone who isn’t watching the door, waiting for your brother to lose his shit over this misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding?” I jerked back, hurt. “How about I make it crystal clear to you, then?”
“Hazel, don’t do this.”
“Do what? Tell you the truth?”
“Sugar—”
“I can’t keep this locked up inside me anymore! You have no idea how many times I’ve tried not to think about you!”
His jaw clenched. “Keep your voice down.”
My hands fisted at my sides. “You don’t know how often I’ve told myself this would never work between us. It plays endlessly in my head. I’ve often hated you because you couldn’t see how much I cared for you. You couldn’t see me, and I know I’ve shown you several times.”
“For fuck’s sake,” he bit in a harsh tone.
“That’s all you can say?”
“What do you want from me? You’re my best friend’s sister, his twin sister. I can’t—”
“He doesn’t have to know.”
“I’ll know!”
I grimaced, holding back the tears as I reached for him. “It’s okay, Ledger.”
He shoved my hands away, brutally spewing, “It’s far from fucking okay.”
I was at my wits’ end. “What if I wasn’t Chance’s sister? Would you be with me then?”
I waited on pins and needles for his reply, anxiously lingering on his every word.
“It doesn’t matter,” he profoundly declared. “You are his sister, and there’s no changing that. I’m not going to stand here and pretend you’re not. It’s fucking pointless.”
“Not to me.” There was no controlling the tears when they slid out of my eyes. “I love you. I’m in love with you, Ledger.”
“Hazel, you don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Now you’re going to invalidate my feelings?”
“I’m just saying, we’ve known each other for most of our lives, and I could see how that could twist your perception of what you think love is.”
I gasped. “I can’t believe you. You’re treating me like a little girl who doesn’t understand basic emotions. You think this has been easy on me, Ledger? You think I’ve wanted to feel this way for you for almost a decade?”
His stare went wide.
“Yeah, that’s right. Now tell me again how I don’t know what I’m feeling? Because I sure as shit know what it felt like the first time you got your dick sucked and every time since, but maybe, just maybe, you were doing that on purpose to push me away?”
He growled, stepping close to my face. “Hazel, don’t fuck with me.”
“No, I’d much rather you fuck me instead.”
He adamantly shook his head. “This can’t be how you want your first time.”
“As long as it’s with you, I don’t care.”
“Hazel…” He wiped away a tear from my cheek with his thumb.
I thought his rejection hurt, but it was nothing compared to what he declared next. “I’m sorry, Sugar. I just don’t love you like that.”
And before I could recover from his confession, he quickly ordered…
“Now put some fucking clothes on and get the hell out of my room.”
Four
Ledger
I left her in my bedroom.
Alone.
Naked.
Fucking heartbroken.
I hated myself for hurting her. She didn’t deserve it. I barely knew how to handle the unexpected situation I found myself in, and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. The one person I told everything to wasn’t an option. Not when it was his twin sister who just threw herself at me.
I was blown away this was happening to begin with. Somewhere along the way, her feelings for me must have taken a turn I never saw coming. I thought…