Total pages in book: 34
Estimated words: 33887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 169(@200wpm)___ 136(@250wpm)___ 113(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 169(@200wpm)___ 136(@250wpm)___ 113(@300wpm)
“Fabulous!” Nora decreed when her gaze hit Genny and me. “An impromptu party. I’m calling down to the concierge and having them go get us a cheese soiree from Zabar’s. And some truffle mouse pâté.” She thought about it and concluded, “And, obviously, caviar.”
Genny didn’t lead into it gently.
She immediately declared, “Elsa can’t have pâté. Or caviar.”
Mika and Nora stood perfectly still and stared at me.
Then Mika let out an excited cry and I was in her arms.
“Oh, Elz, I’m so pleased for you,” she said into my ear, all her obvious pleasure gliding over my skin, pleasure about something I was pleased about too. It started soaking in, and instead of doing what it should have been doing, it woke up that snake in my belly so it started writhing, which of course had me bursting into tears.
I was on a soft-gray couch with three mothers mothering me, a wad of tissue in my hand, a tall, slender glass of ice water on a marble coaster on the table beside me, a hand rubbing my back and concerned faces all around when I finally got my shit together.
Which, sad to say, took some time.
Yeah, I’d been ruminating in cruddy headspace all day.
“Hale doesn’t want children,” Genny explained when I was dabbing my eyes and down to sniffles.
“Ah,” Nora said.
“He doesn’t?” Mika asked, now openly shocked.
“N-no,” I confirmed, still sniffling.
“So, this wasn’t planned,” Mika said quietly.
“N-no,” I repeated. “I’ve slotted a new show into my next streaming schedule that will be an hour-long PSA about how no birth control is one hundred percent reliable.”
The ladies took seats, Genny sitting next to me on the couch, holding my hand, Nora and Mika dragging the armchairs closer so we’d have an intimate huddle.
“I don’t know how to tell him,” I blurted.
“‘Darling, I’m pregnant’ springs to mind,” Nora drawled.
“Nora!” Mika snapped.
She turned her head to Mika. “Am I wrong?”
“Not exactly, but they’ve only been together a year and this is hardly a minor blip,” Mika returned.
“Not even a year,” I put in. “We had our first date and then he disappeared from my life for months.”
Mika threw a hand out to me, but her gaze was still on Nora. “See? So this has to be finessed.”
“Although our Elsa is quite clever, I don’t believe anyone can finesse a pregnancy,” Nora retorted.
I turned to Genny, because if this was womanly wisdom, I was out.
Genny gave me an exposed clenched teeth look before she said, “I kinda agree with Nora.”
“How against having children is he?” Mika asked.
“Well, he mentioned it and both his parents weren’t the greatest.” I looked to Genny and added hurriedly, “Even if Corey tried.” I turned back to the other two. “So I can see why it’s not something he wants. And just last night, he told Chloe our guest room was never going to be turned into a nursery.”
“Has he, per chance, spoken to you about what you want in terms of family planning?” Nora asked.
Holy shit.
I could tell those two words exploded from my face by the way all three women sighed and sat back.
This time, Genny took the lead.
“It can be very easy, especially for women, to fall into the trap of tying themselves in knots to cushion every blow their man, then their children, might experience. And it’s a beautiful response to have, wanting to protect the ones you love. In your instance, you learned that behavior early. Hale hadn’t processed his father’s suicide. Instead, he threw himself into work, and buried it. You got caught in it surfacing. And now, maybe, you’re caught in a habit of trying to cushion his blows.”
Some of this was not quite true.
Actually, I was the reason it surfaced. Falling for me forced Hale out of the cocoon he’d built around himself to keep out emotion he didn’t want to feel and memories he’d long buried.
Though the part about being caught in cushioning Hale from life definitely was true.
“I’m absolutely not saying you should deny yourself that protective instinct,” Genny went on. “What I’m saying is, don’t lose yourself to it.”
“Do you want children?” Mika asked.
I nodded.
“Have you always wanted children?” she inquired.
I nodded and added, “Even more so now that I know they’ll be Hale’s.”
“And that, my dearest, is how you tell him,” Nora decreed.
“I worry that he’s going to be upset,” I noted.
“It’s hardly anyone’s fault,” Mika stated.
“I know that, and he’ll know it. But if he’s upset…”—I resisted the near overwhelming urge to put my hand on my stomach—“I’m only two months in, but it’s already ours. And I’m…it’s…it’s suddenly everything. And if he doesn’t feel the same way…” I didn’t finish that thought.
“Then he doesn’t,” Nora said. “But he loves you and he’ll get with the program.”
“It’ll always be there,” I said.
“Darling,” Nora started quietly, leaning so far my way, she put her elbows on her knees, “listen to Mother.”