Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 115263 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115263 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
“I thought something was wrong with me.”
He moved swiftly across the room and wrapped his arms around me. “No. Never. Nothing could ever be wrong with you.” Pulling back, he put his hands on my cheeks and lifted my face. “Nothing,” he whispered again. His chocolate eyes flicked across my face, and the space between us crackled with tension and unsaid words. But when my tongue slicked across my lips, he groaned, and leaning in, his mouth crashed into mine.
It had been almost a year since I’d felt Kevin’s lips on mine, but it could’ve been yesterday for how familiar it was. My scalp tingled where his long fingers pushed into my hair as he held me close, assaulting my mouth, demanding entrance with his tongue.
My body lost itself in his arms, begging for him to do with me what he wanted. I didn’t want to be alone in this desire anymore. I dug my fingers into the muscles of his back, breaking free of his mouth. “Share this with me,” I pleaded. “I don’t want to be alone in this anymore, Kevin.”
“Ana,” he gasped, trying to catch his breath. “We can’t. I can’t. You’re my friend.”
Not that he didn’t want to. But that I was his friend. The very reason I wanted to do this with him.
“I trust you,” I said, trying to coax him into giving in. “Take me, Kevin.”
I’d barely got his name out before his lips were on mine, ravaging them in a way I’d only dreamed of in the darkest parts of the night where no one would have judged me. My heart dropped when he stepped back, sure he was going to stop and leave me with desire and desperation raging through me.
“Get on your knees,” he commanded.
“What?” I struggled to understand what he was saying in the haze of excitement and disappointment that he’d stopped kissing me.
“I said kneel,” he repeated.
My heart kicked up at the deep commanding tone. A sound I’d dreamed of being used on me. Trying to control the breaths sawing through my parted lips, I knelt.
Chapter Seventeen
Kevin
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
The mix of emotions raging through me were frying my nerves. I felt too much and my body was shaking from the inside out. Ana—my Ana—knelt before me, looking at me with the same lust and nerves that consumed me. But there was something else that sparked behind her blue eyes. Something I recognized.
Relief.
Relief that we had found someone who understood the unnatural parts inside us. Relief that we weren’t alone in our desires. If she had been suffering anything like I’d been, I wanted to give this to her as much as I wanted it for myself.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
But I needed to clear my head. If we were going to do this, I needed to focus. I only partly knew what the fuck I was doing; guided by porn videos and instinct. I couldn’t fuck this up. I swallowed the lump in my throat trying to choke me. Ana held her head high, giving off a brave front. But I knew she had to be just as nervous as I was.
When my hand lifted toward her face, we both noticed the tremble. I hesitated, making a fist to control the shake.
“Kevin, just . . . just do it.” She paused, trying to control the tremble in her voice. Her tone soft, pleading. “Or whatever was on the computer. I don’t want to think or make decisions beyond wanting this. Please.”
Staring down at her desperate blue eyes, I voiced my biggest fear. “What if I go too far, Ana?” I had to clear my throat to keep going. “What’s inside of me . . . What I fantasize about . . . it isn’t normal.”
“Then whatever isn’t normal in you, isn’t normal in me either.” Her words sank in deep and soothed me. She was always able to soothe me. “And I can always say no.”
She was wrong. I felt like a monster barely being held back by an already fraying rope. Like I was holding onto the edge of my control. But it was Ana—my Ana. I would never hurt her. I had to believe that.
Closing my eyes, I took a couple deep breaths and searched for the right move to make. I didn’t know if it was the correct one, but it felt right at that moment. Especially when I opened my eyes to see hers filling with tears. She thought I was going to pull back. And looking at her, seeing the crushing disappointment fill her eyes, I knew I couldn’t.
Consequences be damned.
Testing the waters, I thrust my hand into her long blond hair and jerked her head back. The gasp slipping through her parted lips was all the confirmation I needed. Stepping closer, I jerked her head back again and issued my first order, somehow making my voice come out clear and hard. “Unbuckle my pants.”