Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 67138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 336(@200wpm)___ 269(@250wpm)___ 224(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 336(@200wpm)___ 269(@250wpm)___ 224(@300wpm)
“Not really,” I hedge, really wanting to talk to her about it. She’s known Seven for a while, so it wouldn’t hurt to get her thoughts.
“Come on, I can tell from the look on your face it’s something. Does it have to do with Seven? I thought you guys were getting along extremely well. Leo says all Seven can talk about is the date the two of you shared.”
“I thought it went great, but then he changed. He’s been really preoccupied and distant the last couple of days. I’m starting to worry that he’s upset with me because I can’t remember how we felt about one another before the accident.”
Ettie looks down, twisting her cleaning rag in her hands nervously, before raising her gaze and looking me in the eye. “I don’t know much about your and Seven’s relationship, but I do know that he wants to start over with you and…maybe the past is better left in the past.”
“But it’s not like that. Honestly, I need to remember who I am and it’s not just about Seven. I have all these questions about who I am. They just seem to swirl around in my head and the unknowns are making me crazy. It’s getting so bad I had a meltdown in my doctor’s office at my last appointment,” I tell her. I didn’t mean to unload, but it feels good to be talking to someone. “I know it sounds crazy, but in my head, I saw this…evil beast-like creature over Dr. Brashear’s features.”
“What? What do you mean by beast?” Ettie asks, concern written all over her face.
“I don’t know. It had fangs and just felt… evil,” I confess. I look at my hands, repressing a shudder. “I know it sounds crazy. Maybe I am. It’s just it felt real, and it was so bad that I fainted.”
“Did you tell Seven?” she asks.
“No. There was no point. Besides, Dr. Brashear was nice to me. I’m lucky he didn’t lock me in the looney bin instead of just offering me a soda and having me take deep breaths.”
“Did you at least have any of your past memories triggered from the episode?”
“Nope. Zip. Nada. I’m starting to wonder if I will ever get the memories back.”
“I know sharing all this wasn’t easy,” Ettie says, softly. “Still, I feel like I need to say something to you. Do you care if I get personal for a moment?”
“Okay…” I’m a little worried. Something in her tone is cautious even though I just practically spilled my guts to her.
“Do you have feelings for Seven?”
“I do. I like him a lot,” I answer with a long sigh. “And my body remembers him. It’s just…”
“Just what?” Ettie prompts.
“Seven remembers the woman in love with him so much that I agreed to marry him. That’s not who I am now. I’m over here just having had our first date and needing to get closer to him. We’re at two different spots in our relationship. I don’t want to give him false hope.”
“I think you’re making things way too complicated. You need to put away what you think should happen and stop waiting for your memories to come back. You just need to live in the moment and do what feels natural. Let go of some control and stop worrying. It’s time to let the chips fall where they may.”
“That would be nice, but how do I know to trust what my body and mind are telling me when I can’t even remember how I got this scar on my forehead.”
“Grace, has anyone ever told you that you overthink things just a bit?” Ettie asks, playfully.
“I don’t remember.” We both laugh, effectively lifting the mood.
“All I can tell you is that my life with Leo might not be what I was raised to believe is normal in society—then again, I didn’t actually grow up normal.”
“You didn’t?”
“No, but the point is, I took a chance and now, I’m completely happy. I get to live life with my best friend, a man that puts me above everything else and I wouldn’t change that for all the normal the world could throw at me.”
“It sounds beautiful.”
“Then push away your worries and just enjoy being with Seven. Accept whatever happens, knowing you’re safe with a man who loves you more than life.”
“You think Seven feels that way about me?” I ask, my eyebrows raising. Memories of the date under the stars and talking about fate run through my head.
“Without a doubt, Grace,” she answers vehemently. “Without a doubt.”
I nod as I feel her words settle me as I whisper. “I’ll try.”
21
#7
(STARK)
I’m home. Relief washes through me, but it doesn’t soothe the ache in my muscles. I’m feeling utterly and completely exhausted as I get into the compound. I spent all day helping Endy’s pack move into the tunnels for safety. Sean was at my side helping while Leo stayed behind to help Oracle and make sure our mates were protected.