Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“It’s done. God, that felt good.”
“Good. I’m sorry if that was hard for you.”
Wow. A little humanity from him?
“It’s fine.”
“Are you almost ready?”
“Almost.”
“Staff will be up shortly with some food. Try to eat a little something before the wedding.”
I shouldn’t be touched by his concern, but I can’t help it. After a life of neglect, it’s nice to have someone who cares about even the most basic things.
“They already did, but I’m not very hungry.”
“What do you mean they already did? I’m looking at it now.”
“It must’ve been the caterers or something, then.”
“Oh my God! Aleks, your stupid cat!” Polina shoos it off the tray of food and sighs. “You’ll have to send that tray up anyway, your damn cat just traipsed all over this one and nibbled at it. Gross.”
“Be nice to my cat or I cut your allowance,” he says, and I can’t tell if he’s joking or serious.
She flips the bird at the phone.
“I saw that, Polina.” She gives me a sheepish grin. Is he bluffing, or did he really? We may never know.
I hang up the phone and am in the middle of the finishing touches when there’s a knock at the door. My heart beats faster. I’ve been distracted getting ready for the wedding. I’ve been apart from Aleks since this morning and haven’t had a real chance to think about much, much less fear anything.
But now… now that we’re about to get married, every fear I ever had about being alone with him comes to the surface. He’ll have me alone. He’ll want…sex.
I close my eyes when a flutter of fear makes my heart leap into my throat.
I have feelings about that. Reservations. Dread.
This morning, though… this morning there was a glimmer of hope. A flicker of something like humanity in his eyes. A fleeting thought that maybe, just maybe…
“Are you okay?” I look up, ready to answer Polina, but realize she’s not looking at me but at Aria. Aria’s gone pale, her hand on her belly.
“I will not have a baby on your wedding day,” she says, as if willing her body to stop. “I will not have a baby on your wedding day!”
I smile. “Aria, I met Aleks like two days ago. It’s hardly a culmination of years of falling in love. The sooner these guests go home and I can get out of these clothes and into comfy pjs, the better. In other words — go ahead, have a baby on my wedding day.”
Polina’s musical laughter makes all of us smile. “Oh, I like you, Harper. I like you a lot. Aria, what’s going on?”
“Just—contractions,” Aria says, shaking her head. “I think they’re those fake ones.”
“Well, let us know if they get any closer together or intense, okay?” Polina requests, handing Aria a bottle of water.
She turns to me. “I’m studying to be a nurse.”
“Ah, got it.” That will come in handy.
Another knock at the door. “We’re almost ready!”
“The groom’s getting impatient. They’ve played the opening music a few times,” one of the guys says.
“Alright, alright, let’s go. Don’t you know Italian women are never on time for their weddings? It’s like a rule,” Polina mutters.
I didn’t even realize we were that close to needing to go.
It all feels surreal. The sound of the music. The formality of well-dressed guests waiting downstairs, mostly all unfamiliar to me except for the small cluster of my own family I won’t make eye contact with.
Polina goes ahead of me, carrying a bouquet of flowers. I don’t even know where they came from. I look down at my own hands and realize I’m holding a bouquet of my own. It all feels weirdly dream-like, as I prepare to walk toward my future husband.
When I see him, my heart does a little leap in my chest. I remember the look of desire in his eyes this morning. The way his finger on my shoulder made every nerve in my body come alive.
I remember a whirlwind of intense emotions. The way my voice faltered as he started to undress me. The way my need to be touched by him grew with every second that passed, the way arousal and apprehension warred with each other, whipping my body into a state of incandescence.
The way his assertion of dominance and pushing my boundaries both exhilarated and terrified me.
The feel of his mouth on my skin, the waves of pleasure he sent through my whole body, the effect his commanding words had on my body and mind…
The anticipation of what our vows would signify.
I swallow hard and blink, trying to bring myself back to the present.
There’s a priest holding a book. A woman with an elegant silver up-do nearby. His mother? His brothers that I met yesterday and a younger man beside them with his arm in a sling and a bandage on his face. That must be the one I haven’t met yet.