Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 91064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
My eyes dart across the kitchen to the woman in question and I know exactly what my mother would say. She’d blow a gasket if she knew I didn’t go.
Every woman in my family for the last three generations has been a member of Birds of a Feather. Being a Birdie is an Albright birthright, my mother says. An honor and a tradition that I need to take seriously.
I wish I cared as much as her, but it seems so stupid. It’s not like these ‘secret’ societies are even secret anymore. Everyone knows who’s in them and who runs the school. And regardless if I’m a Birdie or not, my social status is not going to change at Marquardt Prep. I’m a nobody, and that’s exactly how I prefer it.
“Look,” Hanna says, and she’s irritated and it makes me feel guilty that I’m not like her. That I’m not like any of them. “Just think about your college applications. You want Harvard, right? Well guess what, Ten, so do a million other people. If you want your application to have any chance of not being buried at the bottom of the pile, then you need these extracurriculars. And besides, Alexander is being initiated tonight too. You know that Praetorians can only date Birdies.”
My chest hurts at the thought of Alexander dumping me. I didn’t always like him, especially when my mother was hell bent on pushing us together, but over the last year, I’ve really warmed up to him.
When he’s not around his friends, he can actually be kind of sweet.
“Hellooooo?” Hanna snaps. “Are you even listening to me?”
“I’ll think about it,” I tell her.
“Well if you don’t,” she growls, “then you can really kiss Alexander goodbye. He won’t ever forgive you for this.”
She slams the phone shut and I’m left with a dial tone as my mother examines me. Her eyes are always moving over me as though she’s cataloging ways for me to improve. And then she’ll bring them up, one by one, at the nightly family dinners.
“Everything okay at school?” she asks.
“Everything’s fine,” I tell her.
She’s quiet for a moment, glancing over her shoulder to make sure nobody else is around to hear her next question.
“How are your symptoms?”
“They aren’t symptoms, mother,” I sigh. “They are personality traits.”
“Yes, well… regardless of what you’d like to call them, I need to know you’re still working on them. That you’re doing what you promised.”
“I am,” I say. “I’m doing everything you want.”
“Good,” she answers. “That’s good, Tenly.”
The kitchen is quiet, and the conversation is effectively over when she leaves without another word.
* * *
Later that night, I sneak out of the house and wait at the end of the block like I’ve been instructed to do.
A car pulls up, and I barely get a glimpse of the faces inside when I’m yanked through the door.
Someone covers my eyes with their hands, and I’m freaking out already until Alexander’s voice whispers into my ear.
“Calm down, baby,” he says. “It’s just me.”
“What are you doing here?” I ask. “I’m supposed to be getting initiated tonight.”
“I came to escort my girl.” He takes my hand and I feel some of my nerves dissipating as he strokes the pulse beneath my skin.
“Are you nervous?” he asks.
“No,” I lie. “And why are they doing both initiations on the same night? Aren’t they supposed to be separate?”
“Nah,” Alexander says, but he doesn’t give further explanation.
“Are the other girls meeting us somewhere?”
“Yeah,” he says. “Of course. But you have to pass the first challenge first.”
“What is it?”
He brings something cool to my lips and liquid sloshes into my mouth.
“Drink up.”
I don’t want to do it. The whole thing is so lame. But I know I’ll be ridiculed forever as the girl who couldn’t even pass the first test if I don’t. And then my mother will be on my case about destroying generations of our family’s hard work and reputations.
So, I drink the liquid.
And it hits me hard.
Not that I ever really drink, but it feels stronger than it should. Within moments, I’m dizzy and confused and my entire body is weighted down in the seat.
Alexander says something, but I don’t understand the words. I slump against him, and then there is laughter all around me.
I fall asleep.
I don’t know how long we’re in the car for. Because when I wake up, we’re somewhere else. It’s cold, and it smells like pine.
The moon is above me, and there’s dirt and rocks digging into my skin beneath me. Grunting and slapping.
“Fucccccck yeah,” someone says.
And it’s too close to my face. Something heavy falls on top of me, and when my eyes adjust, I realize it’s Duke.
And then I realize that I’m naked, and he’s inside of me.
My mouth opens, and a scream erupts.
“What the fuck?”
That’s Alexander’s voice.
A hand clamps over my mouth, and he’s closer now, speaking into my ear.