Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 49669 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 248(@200wpm)___ 199(@250wpm)___ 166(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49669 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 248(@200wpm)___ 199(@250wpm)___ 166(@300wpm)
It doesn’t hurt that he’s into men as well as women.
I waited for Ugly Christopher to shoot down Old Christopher’s spark of hope, but it didn’t happen.
It didn’t matter, though, because Logical Christopher was present and ready to remind me that even if by some miracle, the older, gorgeous ex-soldier were interested in me, nothing could happen.
I forced my wayward thoughts back to the present. Rush continued to cast me glances as he drove. I tried to think of something, anything to say, but it was like every cell in my body was lost in the way Rush moved, in the way his eyes shone, in the sensation of his fingers rubbing over mine.
I didn’t think it could have gotten any better, but it did because Rush released my hand and then reached up to run a knuckle down my cheek. We must have been at a traffic light or something because Rush’s gaze lingered on me as he caressed my skin. Shivers of delight crackled beneath my skin as my heart thudded painfully in my chest for a whole other reason.
“Get some rest, Christopher. We still have a few minutes before we get there.”
It was like my body was wired to respond to his commands. With just a few strokes of his knuckle and that soft command, my eyes were once again shut, and I could feel the fingers of sleep reaching for me. But there was still a question lingering in my brain.
A question I probably wouldn’t have asked if I’d been a hundred percent in my right mind.
“Rush?” I said softly.
“Yeah?” he responded just as quietly. The car was moving again, but he continued to stroke my cheek.
“Did you ever find it? What you were looking for with the men and women?”
“You mean love?” Rush asked.
I nodded because I couldn’t repeat the word myself. Maybe because I was afraid of the answer or maybe because it was a concept I’d given up on long ago, I didn’t know.
“Not yet.”
I shouldn’t have been relieved. I shouldn’t have been anything. But I couldn’t deny the little ball of happy that settled in my belly.
The same ball of happy that popped not three seconds later when Rush spoke his next words just as the darkness of sleep lured me under its spell.
“But I think all of that is about to change.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
RUSH
If I’d been asleep, the alarm on my phone would have done its job and woken me up, but it wasn’t necessary because I’d been up all night watching Christopher sleep.
He was a peaceful sleeper. He was at peace when he slept.
So different than when he was awake.
I couldn’t even imagine what the young man had been through in the last days, weeks, and months. I still knew nothing about how bad his condition was and part of me didn’t want to know. That part of me was terrified.
I hadn’t been sure if Christopher had heard me in the car right before he’d fallen asleep when I’d basically told him I was starting to have feelings for him.
I didn’t even know how it had happened, I just knew it was different from what I’d felt before as I’d slogged through the heaven and hell of the dating pool.
The excitement I usually felt when I first met someone I was attracted to had been fun and easy. But with Christopher, it was like my entire body was consumed with the sensation. It and every other emotion or reaction to the young man were amplified by a thousand.
It scared me.
A lot.
Like I’d told Christopher, I hadn’t been in love before, but I’d hoped for it. I supposed a lot of that had to do with how much in love with each other my parents had been. From the day they’d first met to the last day they’d spent together on this earth, they’d loved each other. Sure, they’d fought like any other couple, and I could remember a few occasions where my father had ended up on the couch for the night, but there had never been any doubt that they were soul mates.
Each other’s missing half.
It was a lot for any man or woman to live up to, but I also knew better than to settle. I’d had plenty of opportunities to do just that, but I’d been smart enough to know that trying to spend a lifetime with someone who wasn’t that other part of me would only end in disaster and a lot of hurt and anger.
Now, as I watched Christopher sleep, I couldn’t help but be glad I’d never settled.
I silenced the alarm on my phone and then reached for the glass of water I’d already grabbed from the kitchen. As I approached the bed, my eyes skimmed over the handful of prescription pill bottles on the nightstand. I already knew which ones he needed to take when. I’d practically studied each bottle after getting Christopher settled the night before.