Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 50811 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50811 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
Suddenly it all rushed back, hitting me like a brutal punch to the stomach.
My mother was dead.
She’d died in the hospital last night. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t anything because the wave of pain was so intense. I wanted my mom back and she was never coming back and this hurt too much it needed to stop—
“Randi.”
Rome’s arms tightened around me, and I started to sob. I couldn’t believe the agony. It was like some kind of awful, terrible dream, except it wasn’t. She was dead—really dead—and I’d had a fight with her yesterday morning. How could this be happening?
“Randi,” he said, again. He said something else, too, but I couldn’t understand the words. I was busy crying. Ugly crying, with snorting and streaks of black makeup across the backs of my hands. Crying like my whole world had ended, because in a way it had.
I’d been angry last night. Terrified.
But my mind had been sheltering me from the worst of it, I realized. Somehow, I’d dammed up all this pain and held it together for the rest of the family, but no dam could hold forever. Now it was all coming out, and the endless flood of agony wouldn’t end, no matter how much I wanted it to.
I don’t know how long it lasted.
Rome held me the entire time. Eventually he called someone, talking to them quietly. I didn’t pay attention to what he said. Probably telling Tinker that I’d fallen apart. Lexi and Kayden were still with her, so I knew they were safe. They’d want me to come back soon. I needed to pull myself together somehow, yet I had no clue how to do it.
After what felt like hours, Rome got up and walked into the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on. Then he came back out and picked me up. He carried me into the small room and set me down on the toilet, then dropped down to pull off my shoes. I heard his breath hiss when he saw my bloodied socks.
They’d dried to my feet, and now they were stuck.
Pulling my dress up and over my head, he lifted me again, and stepped into the shower. The water ran over both of us, washing away my tears and softening the dried blood. He’d taken off his clothes, too, but we didn’t kiss or anything like that.
He just held me and let me cry.
Eventually, the water started to cool. Rome brought me back to the bed, laying me down. That’s when I realized the crying had stopped. Not that the pain was gone… I could still feel it deep inside, throbbing and twisting, trying to break free. And it would at some point. I knew that.
But for now—this minute—I had it under control again.
Rome handed me a towel, then tugged gently on one of the socks.
“Thanks,” I said, then hissed as the fabric pulled free. Rome gave a low whistle.
“Your feet are shredded,” he said, the words blunt. “What happened?”
I tucked the towel around myself awkwardly.
“I didn’t have any shoes on when Lexi called me at the Eagles,” I told him. “I just ran out the door. Didn’t even notice. Not until I was back at the apartment. You guys took off, and we needed to get to the hospital, so I found some shoes and socks. Then we left. Totally forgot about them after that.”
Rome nodded, lifting my foot for a closer look.
“This is a mess.”
I laughed, struck by the absurdity of the whole situation. “My whole life is a mess, Rome. Why should my feet be any different?”
He glanced up at me, studying my face.
“You’re gonna get through this,” he said.
“You don’t know that,” I insisted. “We aren’t in control, remember? Sometimes people just die, and now it’s all fucked.”
“Look at the window.”
“What?”
He nodded toward his bedroom window. The blinds were still closed, although there were more little streaks of light gleaming through the cracks now. “What do you see?”
“Nothing? Light? They’re closed, Rome. I can’t see anything.”
“The morning after my brother died, I had the hangover from hell. Woke up because the sun was shining on my face,” he said, starting on my other sock. “Pissed me off. Damon was dead, and even the fucking sun was out to get me. Came up the day after, too. Didn’t matter how much I drank or fought or whatever—fuckin’ thing was there every morning.”
“What’s your point?”
Rome gave me a steady look.
“Damon’s gone, but I’m still here,” he said. “Sun still comes up every morning, too. Life goes on whether we want it to or not, which means you’re gonna get through this because that’s just what people do. So will Lexi and Kayden. And some day, you’ll all be hanging out together and playing Uno—or whatever the hell it is your family likes—and someone will tell a story about her and it won’t hurt so much.”