Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 157308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 787(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157308 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 787(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
“That’s not why,” I blurted.
“Then why, Luna? You’re not getting a third chance on this paper. Tell me something real or—”
“My sister committed suicide.” The reply was a hard, rough string of letters. “Which you know because I told you the night of the party. Helping young men and women when they’re in that dark, hopeless place. Showing them there’s another way out. A light piercing the darkness if only they search in the right spot. That is and will always be what I’m meant to do with my life. There’s nothing that matters more than making sure that one less family feels what I do now.
“Happy now?” I flung. “Was that what you were fishing for?”
Shoulders slumping, Adonis scrubbed his face. “Shit, Luna, I didn’t— Fuck me, I’m sorry.”
That was such an unprofessorly thing to say, it distracted me from calling bullshit.
“I was drunk that night. I remember telling you about Catalina, and I remember you...” He trailed off, not needing to finish that sentence. “Afterward, I felt like such a shit for doing that with my brother’s soon-to-be wife, I snuck two bottles of wine out of the kitchen and finished them off. I didn’t remember our conversation—which confirms I’m a loathsome bastard. You told me something so difficult, and I forgot and threw it in your face.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “Truly, I am. Please, forgive me.”
Slowly, I shook my head. “It’s okay. I’m a fraction less pissed now that I know you weren’t baiting me. And you were right.” Bitterness leeched into the admission. “I was holding back.”
“You have every right to. Forgive me, if I’d known...”
Adonis drifted off, but I heard the regret loud and clear.
“Just a thought,” I began. “Demanding authenticity of us is a great thing, and I agree the best work comes from a real place, but Harper Lee and Gabriel García Márquez didn’t turn their novels in for a grade. I couldn’t face telling you the truth about Winter, only to receive a mark that said ‘good effort, next time more imagery. C plus,’” I mocked.
He cracked a smile. “I would’ve plumbed my depths for more sensitivity, but your point is taken.”
“I’m not telling you how to teach, but I don’t know how much honesty you’re going to get from us when we’re judged for it. I’d never put the pain of losing Winter into a school paper—even if I get straight Ds.”
Sighing, Adonis straightened up. “No, that’s a valid point. Who wants to be honest and then told it’s not good enough? You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
I got up too, moving back to the bookshelf. For a while, neither of us spoke.
“Your final question.” Adonis broke down his last box. “Do you still want it?”
“I’ll save it for another time. Terms apply till then. I won’t bring up the engagement party.”
Adonis gave me a smile reminiscent of that night. Something close to regret pulsed between my ribs. “I appreciate that.”
“Of course.”
Smile fading, he squinted at me.
“What? Is there something on my face?”
“You’ve got an eyelash.” I swiped my cheeks. “Here. I’ll get it.”
His thumb caressed my cheekbone, rippling a strange sensation through me. He pulled away.
“Wait.” I grasped his wrist unthinkingly. “I have to make a wish. Girl like me needs all the luck she can get.”
Closing my eyes, I plumbed my own depth, and came away with another truth that would never be shared—certainly not with Professor Anthony. Opening them, I blew gently on his finger, sending the lash soaring.
I tried to follow its path and met his eyes. Our eyes locked, my lips puckered, his pulse jumping beneath my fingertips. We stepped toward each other.
Adonis roughly cleared his throat, tugging his wrist free. “Thank you for your help, Miss Sinclair. You’ve received an A on the test. You may go now.”
“Oh, um, right.”
I made for the door, doubled back for my backpack, and then went again to get my phone off the windowsill. I was more turned around than the time I got lost at the carnival. Adonis’s attention on me just left me more flustered. Did he think I was going in for another kiss? I don’t know what the hell I was doing, but trying to kiss my professor and fiancé’s brother couldn’t be it.
“Bye, Professor Anthony.”
I booked it out of the office and didn’t slow down until I was in my dorm room, shutting and locking the door behind me.
Victor and I have a no-hookup rule. The administration had a little no-hookup rule between professors and students too. Whatever flash of emotion I felt between us, I imagined. That’s what I’d tell myself until my mission was complete and whatever was left of me went away to never come back.
Engagements do end every day. Ours would and Victor would go on to a wife, family, and running the company with his brother by his side. Neither one would remember the angry, broken Sinclair girl, so desperate to feel something other than sadness for a moment, she chased the wrong guy down the risky path.