Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 122030 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 122030 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
I hate what he did. And yet, my body still misses him. Just the scent of his hair in my lungs is the happiest I’ve been in days. Fenn only noticed me after prom, and I’ve been addicted to him ever since. Something happens when he touches me, a chemical reaction that overwhelms every other thought, and it’s enough. For a moment, anyway. Just to kiss him and have this before the drug wears off.
The hardest part of holding a grudge is remaining dedicated to the cause, choosing principle over gratification. When we stumble toward my bed, I can’t be bothered to consider how this undercuts everything I’ve said till now. He wants me, and I want him, and I think we both hate ourselves a little for it.
I push him onto the mattress, and then we’re lying on our sides and he hitches my thigh over his hip. I whimper when I feel his hard-on, the proof of his need for me. Breathing hard, I undo the button of his pants. My hand slides beneath his waistband, seeking out what I’ve been wanting for so long. He’s thick and hard beneath my fingers.
Neither of us speak. We’re both afraid to break the spell. His mouth is locked on mine as I stroke him. He rocks into my hand, shuddering when I squeeze the hard shaft.
Fenn pushes his hand up under my T-shirt to run his fingertips down the bare skin of my back. Our tongues slowly slick over each other. He groans into my mouth. Runs one hand down to cup my ass, as his lips now wander their way along my neck to kiss my shoulder.
I can’t resist the desire to let lust shut off my brain for a while. Hit pause on all other thoughts and just feel him. Pretend we’re still good. Still happy.
“Tell me you don’t still have feelings for me,” he whispers.
But he has to go and ruin it.
It’s like a shot of ice water through my veins. I put both hands against his chest and push. “Whatever feelings I had died when you betrayed me.”
His brow creases as I disentangle our legs and climb off the bed. He doesn’t understand how both things can be true. That I still want him. And I want nothing to do with him.
Fenn scrambles to his feet, his pants still undone, hair tousled from my fingers running through it. “Casey, please.”
“You should go.”
“I know I did a terrible thing, but I’m begging. Give me another chance. I can make this up to you. I promise.”
“There’s only one thing you can do to even have a shot of forgiveness,” I remind him. “Tell the truth. Why’d you do it?”
Again, his face contorts in pain, as if this secret he harbors grows more pernicious and physically destructive the longer he carries it. A parasite consuming him from the inside.
But still, he says nothing. He bites his lip and stares at me with that tormented expression, and it only cements that he made his choice a long time ago.
And it wasn’t me.
“Go home, Fenn.” I heave a bone-weary sigh. “And don’t come back.”
CHAPTER 17
FENN
I’VE BARELY SAT DOWN IN SECOND PERIOD ON WEDNESDAY BEFORE MY name is called and I’m summoned to the lobby of the administration building. In the hall, I catch up to RJ heading in the same direction. He’s already loosening the green-and-blue striped tie I helped him with earlier. Damn near moaning with pleasure as he pulls it off. I swear, RJ removing a tie is akin to chicks kicking off their heels after a long day.
“What’d you do?” I demand.
“Me?” He pushes open the double doors leading to the courtyard. “I didn’t do shit.”
We emerge into the crisp morning air, where I falter a step.
“What?” RJ says.
“I just realized…” I hoist my messenger bag higher on my shoulder as a tingle down my spine warns I might have to make a run for it. “If this was a summons from the headmaster, he’d call us to his office, not the lobby.”
“Unless the cops are waiting in the lobby. Seems like a cop thing to do.”
Fuck.
“Could this be about Gabe? The money you wired to the guard at his school?”
“Highly doubt it.” Confidence lines RJ’s tone. “My work is untraceable.”
I let out a breath. “Long way?” I ask.
RJ nods. “Long way.”
We make a loop around the courtyard to the far side of the admin building, which allows us to get a look at the main parking lot. No police cars. None marked, anyway. Still, I’m not convinced this isn’t a trap.
Clearly RJ agrees, because he mutters, “I’ve got a bad feeling.”
We slip in the back door and take our time making our way toward the lobby. As our sneakers move soundlessly over the gleaming hardwood, we’re both braced for something to jump out at us. This building is colder than just about anywhere on campus. The air smells better, too, which somehow makes it all the more ominous.