Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 122030 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 122030 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 610(@200wpm)___ 488(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
My voice shakes as I say, “You don’t know how much that means to me.”
“I do,” she says softly. “Because I need to ask your forgiveness too. I was so angry, I didn’t care if you got hurt. That wasn’t fair either. I’m sorry, Fenn. About Lawson and all of it. I wish I could make it better, but I know nothing I say changes what’s already done.”
The reminder is like a punch to the gut. I didn’t realize until she’d dropped that bomb how deep she could cut me. How dangerous she could be. Even when she wasn’t trying. Even though I deserved it.
“You don’t belong to me,” I say through the gravel in my voice. “I have no right to tell you what to do or who to be with.”
As much as I’d love to feel sorry for myself, it’s Lawson who owed me something. He’s the one who should have stopped it. If he gave a damn at all about our friendship. Clearly I expected too much from him.
“That’s the thing,” Casey says, sliding her hand into mine. “This time I’m the one asking for a second chance.” She laces our fingers. “Maybe we’re doomed. Maybe we’ll screw it up again. But I’m sick of pretending I don’t want to be with you. That my heart isn’t breaking every time we walk away from each other again.”
“Casey…” I trail off, unable to find the words.
“Do you still have the same feelings for me?” she asks so hopefully, I nearly fall apart.
“You know I do. But I don’t want to be the reason you settle for less than total happiness.”
She squeezes my hand and there’s a strange kind of sparkle in her expression. “You want me to be happy?”
“More than anything.”
“Then let’s forgive each other, Fenn. Let’s put prom night behind us and start fresh. Or, rather, go back to how it was before all the secrets and lies came out.” She strokes my knuckles with her fingertips. “Take me to the Snow Ball this weekend.”
Fuck me. I was ready to do it, to accept my fate. I said goodbye and left her to live a life free of all the ways I’d messed her up.
But damned if I can say no to her. This girl has a power over me that is absolute. I’m nothing if not completely at her mercy.
“Okay.”
A brilliant smile fills her face. “Okay? You’ll be my date?”
“Of course.” I bring her hand up to press my lips against it. “I’ll be your date.”
CHAPTER 48
CASEY
THE THEME IS WINTER THREW UP ON ANTARCTICA AND THEN Antarctica threw up on Frozen. I’ve seen enough papier-mâché penguins to last a lifetime, and I’m not quite sure who thought it was a good idea to recycle the sets from the Christmas play and stick cardboard cutouts of Elsa and Anna in the sleigh instead of Santa. For a school that receives millions of dollars in yearly donations, you’d think they’d hire some expensive designer to decorate the dances. Although I do applaud whoever hung up the hundreds upon hundreds of silver-glitter-frenched paper snowflakes dangling from the ceiling. That’s dedication.
“This is why people drop acid,” Fenn leans in to tell me, his gaze focused on the undulating glittery snowflakes above our heads.
We enter the gym to the chorus of some old indie-rock track I never remember the name of. My mom used to play it in the car when we were little. Reminds me of taking the long way home from the grocery store or sitting in the driveway to let the song finish. I don’t even know if they’re real memories or my imagination filling in the gaps of stories Sloane used to tell me about her. But they feel real when I hear the melody, and it makes me smile.
“You look amazing.” It’s the third time he’s complimented my dress, smiling at its short flouncy skirt.
A few days ago, Sloane and I went shopping in Parsons, and this cute silver number called out to me the moment I saw it. Silver in honor of my beloved Silver, whose tiny gravestone I left a bouquet of yellow mums on this week.
“You don’t have to keep saying that,” I say shyly.
“Yes, I do.”
He’s not too shabby either. Tall and broad, showing everyone else how a suit’s supposed to be worn. I can’t stop running my hands down the soft, crisp length of his lapels. It’s oddly hypnotizing.
“We can leave anytime if you’re uncomfortable,” he whispers into my ear as he rests his hands on my hips, dancing close to me.
“No, I’m having a great time,” I assure him. “Kind of feels like we time traveled here, you know? Got a do-over.”
He smiles and pulls me tighter against his chest, his fingertips gently drawing circles against the small of my back. “I know what you mean. I wasn’t sure I’d ever come back to one of these things. Definitely wouldn’t have guessed we’d be here together.”