Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 82060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 410(@200wpm)___ 328(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“Leon.”
“Your Uncle Leon?”
Leon was Shirleen’s husband. I’d met him, once.
He was all expansive smiles and grand gestures. He gave me the creeps.
Darius nodded. “It happens less because I’m around now. But it still happens. If I get out, it’ll happen like it used to. All the time.”
“Then both of you get out.”
“She can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Fuck,” he whispered. “I love it that you can ask that question and it’s a genuine question, because you don’t know how deep this shit is, how it sucks you in until you’re under and you can’t breathe anymore.”
My heart was beating so hard, he had to feel it. “Darius, you’re scaring me.”
“Good, you’ll get it then when I say, I’m giving you tonight. Tonight, we pretend. And after that, like I’ve been doin’, I’ll do what I can to look out for you. But this can’t happen again. Leon doesn’t know about you, and he can’t know. No one can know. The more people know, the more dangerous it is because he’s the kind of guy who puts his thumbs to something you care about to make you squirm. He did that with me to keep Shirleen in line. He’ll do it to you and Liam without blinking.”
It was the first time he’d spoken our son’s name out loud.
“If Liam meets you, it’s not like he can tell this guy,” I pointed out.
“Baby,” he said softly, “can’t you see? Think about it. You don’t have him, but you know he exists, but you can’t be a real part of his life. If I get one look, I know I’m done. I won’t be able to walk away. But what I do, what I got myself into, you don’t get out. You don’t get out without paying in one way or another. And the fee for that is steep. I won’t let Shirleen pay. You pay. Our boy pay. And I can’t make it so I can’t give you two what you need. I got no choice. I gotta stay in.”
“Forever?”
“I don’t know. And tonight, we’re pretending. We’re not talking about that now.”
“Darius—”
This time, he put his whole hand to my mouth and said, “You derailed your life to give our son to this world. That’s the sacrifice you made. I fucked up. This is the sacrifice I gotta make. And you have to trust me, Malia. I sense you know, if I could, I wouldn’t be anywhere but here. But I can’t. You have to trust that there are reasons why. Because it is killing me, and if you add pressure, baby, I’m gonna cave. And I know what that could mean, and I can barely live with being apart from you two, don’t make me live with that.”
I wrapped my fingers around his hand, pulled it away, and said, “Okay.”
His relief was so great, he instantly buried his face in my neck and let out a heavy breath.
I turned into him and wrapped him up in my arms.
Because I might have agreed.
And he might think we were pretending.
But I knew the truth of it, my mom had told me that truth six years ago.
I just had to grow up and learn the way of it.
Not pressure.
Patience.
In other words the bottom line was…
I had to take care of my man.
* * * *
I woke when the bed depressed at my side.
I opened my eyes to see Darius, fully clothed, sitting beside me.
It was early dawn.
“You’re leaving,” I mumbled, not bothering to hide I wasn’t happy about it.
He ran his knuckles down my cheekbone. “Yeah, but not before we talk about something we should have talked about last night.”
Last night’s convo hadn’t been fun.
Luckily, after I came to terms with what I had to do, I distracted him by kissing him, which lead to a fresh round of orgasms for both of us. But we were in a lot less of a hurry that time, so it took longer, and we’d broken the seal, so in the end, our climaxes were less intense, but that didn’t mean they didn’t reach soul deep.
Or, at least, mine did. But the way Darius had looked at me after he’d recovered from his, it was a guess, but I was thinking he felt the same way.
I got up on a forearm and held the covers over my breasts with the other hand.
“Do I need my teeth brushed and coffee before this talk?” I asked.
“No, since I’m gonna tell you not to do stupid shit with your sister again, and you’re going to nod your head and say, ‘Yes, Darius. That was a one-time thing, baby. You don’t have to worry about me doing stupid shit with Lena or Toni anymore.’”
Oh boy.
I could see the challenge ahead of me since it hadn’t even been twelve hours and my patience with my man was waning.