Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 77663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 388(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 388(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
“I meant you, not him; I want you out of my house right now.”
They both tried to argue, and that’s when I snapped out of it and snapped. I don’t recall what all was said and done, but I know by the time I calmed down, she was gone, and Dan was trying to hold me. We were both in tears at this point, and I knew what it felt like to want to die.
I wished for death as the most excruciating pain ate away at my insides, and I fell to the floor, bawling my eyes out and trying not to throw up on myself. We had sex right there on the floor in the hallway. It was wild and hot, and I came so hard, harder than ever before, I think.
That night, we had sex three more times, and each time, I cried throughout and felt numb and empty after. Trauma bonding, now I know what that feels like.
I called out of work the next day because I felt worse than the night before. Dan had gone off to work, and I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling, wishing for this chapter in my life to come to a quick end.
Dan had told me about the affair this morning over coffee. I wanted to know everything, and yet I didn’t. I listened to his pleas for forgiveness and his reassurance that he didn’t love this other person, that it was just a stupid mistake and would never happen again.
I believed him because I needed to. There was no one I could turn to. I couldn’t tell my family and friends about this, not yet. I felt so stupid, but worse alone. The person I turned to for comfort and solace was the one who had gutted me.
I cried every day as soon as Dan walked out the door and lived on pins and needles until he came back home. That first week, I didn’t leave the house and didn’t answer the phone. I spent my days trying to be the perfect wife. It was as if I were in competition with myself.
I had to get everything just right because one wrong move and he might leave me. I walked on eggshells of my own making. At night we’d sit down at the table together, having dinner and talking like old times, ignoring the hippopotamus in the room.
Two weeks later, I fell and hit my head while at work and was rushed to the hospital. I was dehydrated and didn’t know it, and that’s what brought on the dizzy spell that took me down. Dan was there when I woke up, holding my hand as he read something on his phone.
For the first few seconds, I forgot the hell that my life had become. “Hi!” I smiled at him and saw the look of surprise on his face as he, too, broke into a smile. You see, I hadn’t smiled at him in a while, not since the day he told me. When your betrayed wife cries during and after sex, you pretty much know she’s not in the mood to smile.
It didn’t take long for it all to come rushing back, and when it did, I fought to hold onto that smile because this was my best friend. How do I separate these two? The cheating husband from the friend who’d held my hand through thick and thin.
He leaned over and kissed me, and I accepted his tongue in my mouth and his hand on my nipple. We’d been getting friskier lately, doing things we didn’t do even in our youth. We heard the nurse coming and pulled apart just in time to be decent, but I didn’t miss the bulge in my husband’s pants.
I was released and sent home and we decided that Dan would drive me to work the next day where my car had been left. As we drove with the windows down and the wind in my hair, my breath became choppy as my heartbeat accelerated.
“Pull off on the next side road we pass.” All around us were cornfields on both sides. We knew this area well since we’d grown up here and had planned to spend the rest of our lives together here. Before he could even make the turn, I was unzipping him. “Shit, Mandy.”
I licked his cockhead, sipping the little bead of precum from the tip before taking him into my mouth. I sucked him to full hardness, and by the time he pulled into one of the fields, I was raising my skirt and pushing my panties down off my hips.
I straddled him in the twilight that descended upon us and took his length deep in me. He tore the buttons of my silk blouse and pushed my bra up under my chin so he could suck my nipple into his mouth. I rocked harder on his cock as I came with a scream and kept going.