Total pages in book: 40
Estimated words: 38276 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 191(@200wpm)___ 153(@250wpm)___ 128(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 38276 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 191(@200wpm)___ 153(@250wpm)___ 128(@300wpm)
But now, I have to go.
Sadness swamps me, making my stomach sink to my knees. I don’t want to go home. My dad is coming back, and I need be there when he gets home. I need to get back to reality and so far, Callan hasn’t given me any indication that he wants more from me. I’m a little disappointed, I can admit it. I was actually hoping that Callan might ask me to stay, to not go back home. He hasn’t and that’s okay. I mean, it’s probably smart. This thing between us is relatively new. I’m just letting my heart lead me. If you think about it, it’s silly to even think about him asking me to move in. I need to be logical. It’s just that after the last seven days with Callan, sharing his companionship, laughter, and not to mention the mind-blowing sex, I’m losing my heart to this man. It’s foolish, I know, but I’m hoping he might be feeling the same way.
The last day or so he’s been preoccupied and quiet. I asked him about it, but he just said Niko is having some issues and he’s worrying about him. I know he has a lot on his mind, so I haven’t pushed anything. The last thing he needs is for me to come at him with the hundreds of questions swirling in my mind. I’m a mess. I can’t figure out my own feelings let alone Callan’s.
I know I’m insecure because I’ve done things that I never thought I would. Callan asked me to dinner. We slept together on essentially our first date. Ever since that night, I’ve been living here. Things have gone too fast. I’ve crossed lines and made it too easy. Men prefer women who are a challenge, right? Callan pursued me hard when I was pushing him away.
I’m an idiot.
I walk downstairs still trying to figure out what I need to do. Everything is just awkward. It’s ridiculous that after all we’ve shared that I don’t know how to ask him to share his feelings.
Callan is slowly pacing while on the phone. I try not to interrupt him because he’s talked about a big mediation he’s been working on. I’m hoping that’s part of the reason he’s been quiet lately.
I start to turn around to go wait for him in the kitchen when I hear him talking in a hushed, yet stern, voice.
“That’s not good enough, Denessa.” Callan seems really put out. I’ve never heard him talk to anyone like this before. “You knew going into this that I was going to be very hard to please. I have a long list that I needed from you. The bedroom is a major component of that list and clearly that has been lacking each and every time.”
If there was a sound to a heart breaking, it would be echoing all around me right now—alerting Callan to the fact that I’m standing here. I can’t seem to breathe. Time stops. The world is crashing around me as the truth hits me with the force of a .357 Magnum. I try to hold onto all the sweet words that Callan has given me, but he makes it impossible when he continues.
“Listen, Zoe is upstairs taking a shower. The last thing I need is for her to come down and hear me. I’m tired of talking about it. You know what I want and you’re not delivering.”
He pauses as this Denessa talks.
“Fine. I’ll give you one more chance, but if you can’t give me what I want, I’ll find someone who can.”
My eyes burn with unshed tears as I bite my lip to the point that I can taste the coppery metallic taste fill my mouth. I don’t let up. If I did, I would cry out in pain. I run to the table to grab my phone and overnight bag that I left earlier. There’s a pen and paper lying on it, because Callan and I made a grocery list the other night. I grab it and scribble out a note that Emilia had to pick me up because my boss needed me to report to work earlier than anticipated. I add that I didn’t say goodbye because he was on the phone. I promise to call him later. That’s not happening, but my small lie is nothing compared to all of the ones he’s been feeding me. Hell, leaving a note is probably stupid, but I don’t want him to call me.
I never want to hear his voice again.
I creep out of the house, quietly closing the door behind me as I kick myself for being such a fool. I thought there was something special between us, but I was wrong. I thought we were building something special. It felt real. I mean, he even loaned me his spare Mercedes to drive to and from work.