Total pages in book: 11
Estimated words: 9744 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 49(@200wpm)___ 39(@250wpm)___ 32(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 9744 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 49(@200wpm)___ 39(@250wpm)___ 32(@300wpm)
I exhale heavily as the boys look back at me. Baylor holds my hand in support. “I’m done.”
Jace shakes his head as Jude’s shoulders fall. “Fuck, man. I’m sorry.”
“Such bullshit,” Jace says, and I nod.
“Yeah, I’m not okay. But I will be.”
Jace nods. “Hey, this could be a good thing. Gives you time with the boys through the years they need you most. You could coach their teams, like how you used to do for Shea Adler when Angie was little.”
I nod. I hadn’t thought of that.
“No matter what, Jay, you’re still the best hockey player ever. So, no worries. Now, you get to be a full-time dad and husband,” Jude adds. “But it’s still bullshit.”
“Straight bullshit,” Jace agrees. “But Jude is right. You’ll go down in history as the youngest captain of the Assassins and the second-best defensemen after Shea Adler.”
I love my brothers. I nod as I smile. “Thanks, guys.”
“I love you, dude. I’m sorry,” Jude says. “Y’all can come down here. Stay for a bit?”
Jace loves this idea. “Fuck yeah. We’ll drive up and spend some time at Jude’s mansion.”
Baylor nods, popping her head in. “We would love that. Let’s get home, tell the boys and Mom and Dad, and get our ducks in a row.”
“Love you, Bay,” Jude says. “You’re a great wife.”
She nods. “Love you too. Thank you.”
“Love y’all,” Jace says, and we share the sentiment before hanging up.
I look at Baylor, and she nods. “They’re right, you know. You’re already a great dad—just think how it’s going to be now that you’ll be around full time?”
I nod, unable to share in the excitement of that. Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids and I love being a dad, but all I know is hockey. It’s terrifying knowing my career is over, but I won’t allow myself to fall into a hole about this. Everyone is right; I’m going to be great. It’s what we Sinclairs do. I’ll coach the kids or maybe play in a no-contact men’s rec league. There are options. I have options. I’m still alive and walking.
I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
When we get home, I get out of the truck and look up at the home Baylor and I bought once we signed on with the Assassins. It’s a very modern home, minimalist style, with big-ass windows and lots of wood planks everywhere. Our door doesn’t just open. It slides, automatically. It’s basically a house from The Jetsons. We love it. Especially since it’s on a two-acre corner lot with no one around us. Makes for great pool parties because no one gets upset. Inside, we have six bedrooms. The top floor has three, and that is where our room and the kids’ are. Downstairs is an office for Baylor and two guest rooms. We usually house a single hockey player when they first arrive to play for the Assassins, giving them a place to stay until they get on their feet, or when my brothers or my mom stay.
It’s a great house that we’ve made a home.
I lock the truck door as we head inside. Baylor hasn’t said much, probably allowing me to gather my thoughts and prepare to steer the conversation. We are able to read each other after all these years, which only proves I was right from the jump that she was the one for me. Man, she gave me a run for my money, but she was damn well worth the fight. I wrap my arm around her waist, bringing her in close as I kiss her jaw.
She leans into me, her eyes studying mine. “How you feeling?”
“I think I’m a little in shock about it all.”
“Yeah,” she agrees. “Maybe a vacation to see Jude and Jace and the kids before our kids start school again is a good idea. It’ll be nice to get away.”
“Maybe. I gotta tie up some loose ends, and I’ll need to clean out my locker and shit.”
She makes a face. “I feel like that can wait.”
I shrug as I reach for the button to open the door. I know she probably thinks I want to rip the Band-Aid off as fast as I can, and I guess I do. It took her a month to clean out her locker when she had to retire. I can’t do that; I can’t wait that long. As much as I don’t want to accept my career is over, I can’t drag this out. It is what it is. I gotta keep moving.
Before I can push the button, though, Baylor stops me. “We are great, Jayden, but it’s okay to mourn this.”
“I think I already have been,” I admit, meeting her gaze. “It’s been fifteen months, Baylor. I’ve made progress, but not enough, not fast enough.”
She visibly swallows. “I don’t want you to hurt.”