Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 138683 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 555(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138683 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 555(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
Because that connection hummed in the air, though tonight, it keened and moaned a quiet lament.
Potent and powerful.
Fierce and broken.
My pulse raced with determination, a furious thrumming that rushed out to meet with the man who thrashed in the wreckage of his past.
Tied to a place where he was alone.
Where demons possessed and monsters roamed.
The problem was, Milo somehow viewed himself as one of those who crawled the underbelly of this sordid hell where he held himself prisoner.
Chained.
Stuck in a moment he couldn’t change or take back.
And I wanted to free him of his binds. And if I couldn’t, then I needed to free myself of the ones he’d locked around me.
Because I couldn’t do this.
Couldn’t keep pretending that what I felt was fake.
So, I inched closer to the mayhem that flailed and whirled, a dark, dark storm that battered his soul.
I felt it flooding back. A swell that crashed and beat against the shores of my spirit, as if he were seeking refuge.
“Milo,” I said again.
His shoulders tensed before he finally turned around.
My breath hitched.
The sheer size of the man was terrifying, but it was his agonized expression that knocked my knees, the sight of him that reached into my chest and yanked my heart right out of my ribs.
That mountain of a man stood raging.
A hurricane.
Lost to a torment that I didn’t know how to erase, but I wanted to find a way to possess for him, anyway.
To whisper it away for a moment.
To promise him I would hold it if he’d let me.
But he had to let me in. I could no longer stand on the sidelines.
He stared at me through a bleary, disordered gaze, the man held captive somewhere in the recesses of his mind, though I could feel those eyes calling out for me somewhere in the misery where he lived.
Like he thought maybe I could be his rescue. A way out. Or like I might be his condemnation.
“Little Dove.” It was half a plea, half a warning. “You should go to bed.”
I edged forward a step. The air shivered. The energy leapt.
“You keep asking me to walk away from you, Milo. You keep pushing me away. And I can feel it, when you need me.” I clutched at my chest.
Unease flitted through his big body. “Keep telling you that you don’t want to go there.”
I lifted my chin, the words hard and desperate. “I’m strong enough to handle what you need. I think it’s you who’s not strong enough to handle me.”
Shards of pain left him on a moan. “Tessa.”
My head shook, and I took another step forward. “I can’t do it anymore. Can’t handle this push and pull. Can’t keep ignoring what this is.”
Blinking, he took a step away like he could shield himself from the severity. “Warned you it was going to be messy.”
“But neither of us knew it would be like this.”
“I already told you—”
“Stop it. Just stop it, Milo. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to me. This isn’t fake, and if you think it is, then you’re a fool.”
“I warned you not to fall for me,” he grated.
“Too late.”
His jaw clenched beneath his beard. “I can’t give you what you want, Tessa. What you need.”
“You’re wrong. Everything I need is right here.” I pointed at the floor. “Right here with you. And I know you think you’ve done something in your past that precludes you from being loved, but you’re wrong, because I love you.”
The confession whipped from my tongue.
So hard it smacked through the oxygen like a sonic boom.
A reverberation that banged against the walls.
“I love all the sweet and protective parts about you, and I love the harsh and fierce ones. I love the hope you have for your children, and I love your broken parts, too. I love you,” I whispered that time, begging him to see.
He squeezed his eyes shut, words a scrape of denial. “Tessa…don’t.”
“I love you, Milo. I love you.”
His head shook, and he refused to look at me. Refused to acknowledge what I’d said.
“I’m in love with you, Milo. Wholly and completely.”
Pain lanced through his expression. “Please…don’t.”
“Tell me you don’t feel it.”
He just stared at me, refusing to say anything.
Rejection curdled in my throat, closing off the hope, and I began to nod as I forced myself to accept it.
“Okay, then.”
My words were so low, filled with the pain of the realization that this had to be it. He’d made me promise to tell him if it became too much. I doubted this was what he’d meant, but here we were.
Me at my end, and Milo stuck where we’d started.
“I’ll be here for your kids, like I promised. But if you can’t admit what you feel for me? Then this…” I gestured between us. “It has to end. I have to protect what’s left of my heart.”