Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 138683 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 555(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138683 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 555(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
I returned my attention to the countertop, my head slowly shaking. “I start my business and prove I can be worthy of raising my kids. I fight for them with all I have, then I live for what I’ve been given.”
Contemplation had her biting her bottom lip before her gaze narrowed as she started to speak, her voice drawn low. “Do you think it doesn’t haunt me, Milo? What you went through as a child?”
“Mom—” Didn’t think I could handle the direction she was going.
She put out a hand to stop me.
“Do you think I didn’t blame myself?” Pain quivered at the edge of her mouth. “Yes, it was your father who was ultimately to blame. The one who was a monster. The one who inflicted the pain. But I also made a ton of horrible choices along the way. Choices I wish I could go back and change. Choices I will regret for the rest of my life.”
Agony skewered through the air.
“Mom…it wasn’t your fault.”
“Please let me finish because you need to hear this, Milo, and you need to listen.”
Throat closing off, I gave her a tight nod.
“Could you imagine, Milo, if I would have turned my back on you when you were a teenager? If I would have decided for you that I had made choices that had hurt you and you were better off without me?”
“No.” The word scored through the air.
My hands curled into fists.
No.
Her voice dimmed in sadness, with prudence, with care. “Or maybe I could let those choices ruin my life now. Maybe I could run away and hide and think you’re better off without me because you have to know the shame that I feel for the mistakes I have made will always be there. Or I can choose to live. Choose to move forward and learn from my mistakes. Choose to cherish all that I’ve been given.”
“Tessa was never really one of those things.”
“Wasn’t she?” She angled closer in my direction. “And you can either let your mistakes dictate your life now and continue to make them, Milo, live in regret and shame, or you can let what you’ve learned lead you to where you’re supposed to be.”
She pushed from the counter, though she paused and touched my arm, her words issued into the room. “It’s your choice, and I pray that you make the right one.”
FORTY-NINE
TESSA
“Auntie Tessa, are you even a teacher?” Juni Bee scrunched her nose up at me from where she was on her knees, eating a bagel at Eden’s round table in the kitchen. She’d come running through the gate and up to the back door first thing this morning, asking her Aunt Eden what was for breakfast.
“You gotta know that a Mantis shrimp has the fastest punch of any animal. It’s faster than a bullet.” Her dark eyes widened at that.
“Are you kidding me?” I feigned disbelief. Well, okay, it was disbelief. I’d never even heard of it.
“She’s not even kidding a little, Auntie. It’s just knowledge,” Gage supplied around a mouthful of fresh strawberries. “They’re fast fighters. They get a one, two, three, kapow on their prey.” He tossed a fist through the air. “They’re done for. That’s how they hunt, you know. I read in a book about the best predators and then I told Juni because I tell her everything.”
He shrugged, and my heart squeezed.
So freaking cute.
All giggles and adorableness where they shared their breakfast.
Attached at the hip.
I pushed to standing, moved around the table, and pressed a kiss to Gage’s head as I rambled, “I totally didn’t know. It seems my niece and nephew sure have the smarts, don’t they?”
I moved on to do the same to Juni.
I ignored the pang I felt when Scout’s face flashed through my mind. My little Rocketman who was going to study all the things so he could go to Mars. My smile was soft as I imagined him here, how he’d fit right in with Juni and Gage.
A piece of this beautiful family.
But there were times in your life when you had to accept that things didn’t always work out the way they should have.
That sometimes we were robbed of the joy and love we deserved.
Whether we kept it from ourselves out of fear or we lost it out of no fault of our own.
Eden hummed from where she pulled Baby Kate from her highchair to wash her face that was smeared with baby food. She walked with her over to the kitchen sink. “I’m going to have to be careful what books I buy for Gage. Before we know it, he’s going to know more than the rest of us.”
“You know I gotta get all the A’s, Mommy.” Eden started to say something, but he held up a hand. “I know, I know, even if I don’t get an A, it’s okay as long as I do my best. I got it. I even told Juni so she knows.”