Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
“I’d like that.” And I realized I really, really did. It might help us both.
After we cleaned up our lunch, I walked Mom to the door so she could head back to work.
“You’re gonna be okay.” Mom pulled me into a hug. “Give Seth some space for now. I think he’ll come around. He’s crazy about you too.”
Fuck, I hoped so. And then all I could do was show him how brave and beautiful he truly was.
37
Seth
I brushed the finishing touches of makeup over Elsie’s face—just a little bit of highlighter. I wasn’t a huge fan of it. Sometimes it was a bit too much, but I thought if you went light, with the right look, it added the perfect amount of glow.
“What do you think?” I asked Mom, who sat in the chair beside me. Elsie was going to some fancy fundraiser and had asked me to do her hair and makeup last-minute.
“It’s beautiful, Seth. You’re very good.”
I adjusted the baseball cap I wore and tried not to blush. “Thank you.”
“Seth always makes me feel pretty and young again.” Elsie winked.
“You don’t need me for that,” I countered.
It was the Saturday after everything had gone down at the Underground. I’d taken the night off, since Mom was spending the week in Portland with me. I couldn’t pretend it was a perfect week. We’d had a few arguments, and she was definitely still adjusting to easing up on the control issue, but she was trying. We were both only human, after all. No one was perfect. It took time to change years of behavior, but for the first time, I felt like we were on the right track.
Mom had even met Bonnie earlier today. The three of us had breakfast, which was nice, even if a little awkward at times. They were totally different people and always would be, but they got along okay, even if just for me. I think Bonnie sold Jake to Mom, though. I wasn’t sure if she did it on purpose, but I guess it was easy to gush about how great he was. Bonnie hadn’t asked me what was going on between the two of us, and I loved her for it.
Elsie’s husband, Harold, came around the corner and whistled. “Do we have to go to that fundraiser tonight?” He waggled his eyebrows.
Oh, wow. Too much information. Still, we all chuckled. Elsie thanked me, we hugged, and then the two of them were on their way. A few other residents popped by as I was cleaning up—they had the whole time I was doing Elsie’s makeup, just to say hi or tell me I’d done a good job or to ask when I was playing the piano there again.
I still hadn’t spoken to Jake. I knew he was giving me time. That was the way he worked. I asked for something, so he would give it to me, but I missed him.
“You really have a wonderful life here,” Mom said softly.
I tried to cover my surprise. “I do. I feel…I feel like me for the first time in my life. Like I’m coming into my own, and maybe at twenty-one I already should have, but—”
“Shh.” Mom winked. “None of that. You’re happy and doing great. I can see that. You’re living your life the way you want to. There are no shoulds.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I smiled, but something was missing, something still didn’t feel right, and I knew exactly what that was.
“You should talk to him,” Mom said.
“How did you know I was thinking about him?” Mom and I had talked about Jake more than once over the week. I didn’t give her all the details, but I told her that he was trying to protect me when I wanted to take care of myself. The last thing I needed was for her to think the Underground was dangerous.
“You got that dreamy look on your face I used to get when I thought about your dad. God, I loved him.”
Hearing her admit it was a shock to the system. I pulled her into a hug, which she returned. “I know you did. I’d like to…maybe I can make a trip home before school in the fall. I haven’t been to Dad’s grave in a long time.”
“I’d like that.” Mom wiped a single tear from her eye. I was surprised she’d even let that one out. “But…back to you and your current situation. I don’t know what happened between you guys, of course. And I’m not trying to tell you what to do here. It’s just mother-son advice. I can see you miss him. You love him. You should talk to him. I know he didn’t give you what you needed in that moment, but from what you’ve said, it’s clear he loves you. And I guess…well, I guess I get that because I’ve been far from perfect, but I love you very much. That isn’t an excuse. It doesn’t mean we should accept people hurting us, but—”