Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 137135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
I’ve found this practice much more effective when teaching someone to be more self-confident. Not only does it cut off their reason to talk shit about themselves if they don’t get the positive reinforcement when they do it, but it also forces them to summon the courage to voice and/or ask for what they want.
So instead of doing what most people would, or even what a lot of Doms would in this situation—reprimand her for putting herself down—I continue on as if she never spoke, ignoring what she said completely. “I have Asperger’s. Well, that’s the antiquated name for my disorder. It’s now technically known as high-functioning autism disorder, but I prefer its original moniker, because it sets it apart with what to expect, instead of grouping it all together with something that has symptoms that don’t even apply to me. But one of the symptoms, or characteristics, I do have is the tendency to unconsciously avoid eye contact. And I say unconsciously, because I don’t do it on purpose, and when I realize I’m not meeting someone’s eyes during a conversation, I make the effort to fix that.”
“Asperger’s. Isn’t that what one of the cardiologists on Grey’s Anatomy had?” she asks.
“A very dramatic portrayal of every symptom of the disorder set on Maximum Level,” I tell her. “If an Aspie had all the documented characteristics at the highest degree, then that’s what it might’ve looked like. A stereotypical representation. In reality, just like your ADHD or your OCD, each characteristic of the disorder is on a sliding scale of how much it affects you. You have 100 percent of the intrusive thoughts, but I haven’t heard you say anything about symmetry or germs or having to do things a certain number of times. That’s not to say you don’t experience those things with your disorders, but they’re on a much lower level than your voices.”
As I’ve spoken, I watched her face relax while her own eyes shifted back and forth. She’d occasionally glance up at my eyes, but her focus was drawn more to my mouth and then up and to one side or the other as she thought about and filed away what I was telling her for future use.
“I swear I could listen to you read the phone book to me out loud, and I’d be completely content,” she murmurs, and by the flush that rises up her face, she didn’t mean to say it out loud. It’s something I’ll have to be lax on in the beginning if she agrees to be mine. Just like in her messages, where she tends not to think much about what she’s typing before she’s already sent it. But for now, I want her to speak her mind as openly as possible. Nothing could be more important at this stage between us, because it allows me to really get to know her—as a person and as a submissive.
“Which is kind of funny, because another aspect of Asperger’s is our voices tend to be quite monotone, without inflections. Over time, we learn to mimic typical voice patterns, but until we get really good at faking it, until it’s basically muscle memory, we can seem extra strange while we figure out volume control and things like… a question ending on a higher note than the rest of a sentence. Some people even get offended because they think we’re making fun of their accent or the colloquialisms they use, when really we’re trying to make them feel comfortable by speaking more neurotypically.” I’ve been told often that I overexplain things, so usually I cut myself off long before this, when I recognize the haze that comes over people’s expressions when their just being polite. Another social norm I had to learn instead of just interrupting someone’s conversation I found boring or redundant. But in Sienna’s case, I keep up with the flow of memorized knowledge, because that haze never comes. Just this… dreamy expression, like a live-action version of a Disney princess when she’s falling for her hero.
Taking things another step forward, I order her, “Take off your bottoms,” but this time, my command isn’t so readily followed. She doesn’t look as excited to bare this part of herself to me. Her movements are slower, unsure.
And she leaves her panties on.
This is an easy test to see how comfortable a submissive is with getting naked in front of a new Dom. It’s also a way to see just how comfortable a woman is with her body, period. Some women have no problem taking off all their clothes, defining “bottoms” as everything they’re wearing from the waist down including underwear. Or maybe they’re only wearing shorts or pants with nothing underneath. Either way, complete nudity is the end result.
And then there are those like Sienna. She pauses but then chooses to follow the order without questioning, but she keeps herself covered to the best of her ability by leaving on her panties.