Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 102578 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 513(@200wpm)___ 410(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102578 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 513(@200wpm)___ 410(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
Once upon a time, I would’ve related to what he was saying. It used to be true. I’d never liked the dog and pony show. I’d never felt threatened. Then Tate had changed everything. He’d completely fucked me up.
It reminded me of something my aunt once told me.
“You don’t want an easy marriage. You want the magnet that drives you up the wall sometimes. The one who holds your feelings hostage both deep in your core and right on the surface. That one person who keeps you wild.”
My folks had been the topic. They’d never fought. Not once. They didn’t care enough to fight. It’d been easy to grow up with them—almost as easy as it’d been to leave them. My pop had retired from the Navy on the West Coast. They’d stayed there. I’d gone ashore on the East Coast, where my aunt and uncle lived. I’d stayed here. They’d welcomed me with open arms. Their home was vibrant with laughter, music, books, fights, and love.
Some of my most vivid memories from my relationship with Tate were like that. At our best, we’d loved so fucking hard. Our home had been sacred. We’d laughed together in every room, cooked dinner and bobbed our heads to the music in the kitchen, screwed each other’s brains out on every surface imaginable, I’d had my head in his lap on the couch, we’d had friends over for dinner parties, he’d kneeled for me before bed almost every night…
Our needs in BDSM were both a blessing and a curse. They’d brought us together, they’d given us the best sex I’d ever had, but…they were also the reason we’d needed to include others. Out in Mclean, we had our kink community. A big estate, countless friends, and playrooms in which we’d left our comfort zones.
I caught Franklin shifting uncomfortably in the corner of my eye, reminding me of the clusterfuck our reality was right now. How the fuck had we ended up here? Me, with Tate’s friend, who’d just left his wife. His first foray into kink, not to mention his first experience with a man—I presumed—was to come in his damn pants after I’d called him a whore.
What a mess.
“You should get home.”
He inclined his head. “I should.”
Neither of us made any move to leave, though, and it occurred to me that he might return to hostile territory.
“How are you and the wife gonna solve your living situation?” I asked.
“I have no idea,” he replied tiredly. “It makes sense for me to move out. My firm has access to condos in Alexandria, and I could call a Realtor first thing in the morning. It’s Lily I’m worried about. She’s very much a daddy’s girl, and she can’t handle change.”
Even with my own shit sundae, I didn’t envy him.
“This is probably what our night should’ve revolved around,” I joked. “Two men bitching about their lives.”
He flashed me a quick grin. “I don’t know…”
I chuckled and stared at him. He was kinda fucking beautiful in his uncertain, hungry, awkward, freshly orgasmed glory.
“I’m still thinking about your cock,” he admitted.
I leaned over right away and kissed him firmly. “Maybe you’ll get to worship it one day.”
But for now, it was time to part ways.
This was a stupid idea. Maybe one of us should look for another kink community. And it would probably be me. I couldn’t see Tate leaving willingly.
Once a month, we hosted a munch on the rooftop terrace of a friend’s DC restaurant, and we filled the picnic tables to the max every time. Today was no exception, and the distance between Tate and me wasn’t enough. I heard him across the terrace whenever he laughed with a couple friends.
KC, a buddy of mine, asked how I was holding up, and it’d become my goal to steer conversation away from that topic as soon as possible. I couldn’t fucking deal with my reality.
“Eh. It is what it is,” I replied. “What about you guys? You seemed all kinds of blissed out at the Game.”
No official announcements had been necessary when KC’s ex-wife’s son had joined the community roughly a month ago. Somehow, it’d brought four guys together. I didn’t know what dynamic they were settling into, but KC, Noa, Cameron, and Lucian were definitely involved in something together, all four of them.
KC answered; I listened on one ear as he talked about how quickly life could change, and he was looking at Noa when he spoke. The love between them was clear as day, and it made me uncomfortable. Envious. Fucking devastated.
I shouldn’t have come here today. But it’d been a couple days since I’d semi-forced an orgasm out of Franklin, and I’d been kinda hoping I’d show up here today to find Tate livid with me.
Maybe Franklin hadn’t told him yet. Maybe he never would. I had no clue.