Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 71082 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71082 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
"What are you, a 1950s movie?" Ruth-Ann jokes.
Ruth sticks her tongue out.
I glance down at my decidedly unimpressive cleavage. "If I dress sexy it's not me."
"So be yourself," Ruth-Ann tells me. "Ask him to tattoo you in a private spot that you can't reach."
A hot blush heats my cheeks. I can just picture that, me asking Kazex if a snake tattoo would look good on my backside.
Maybe not. But it's not a bad idea. Maybe a piercing...
"I'll give it some thought," I tell them, feeling shy. "I'm sorry to be such a mess today. Thanks for talking me through things."
"What are sisters for?" Ruth says, coming over to hug both of us. I'm enveloped between Ruth and Ruth-Ann as we share a messy hug, and for a moment, I'm filled with so much love for my two sister-clones that I ache.
"I love you guys," I tell them, all choked up.
Ruth gives me another squeeze. "Does he have a sweet tooth? Maybe you should get him a couple cookies from that new baker down in Port that Erzah mentioned."
Ruth-Ann makes a dismissive noise. "Don't bother. They're terrible."
So much for that. But my idea starts to take shape in my head, and as I hug my sisters, I wonder if I have the courage to act on it. But if I don't...I'll lose Kazex forever. If not to Gia, to someone else. He's not going to wait for me to get my head out of my ass for all eternity.
I need to act. I need to tell him how I feel.
But I need to see how he feels first.
CHAPTER
TEN
KAZEX
Everyone on the Scarlet Gaze does double-duty when it comes to assignments. I'm the head of security, but I'm also the back-up to maintenance. That means I need to know how all the machinery on the Gaze works, and how to fix things in case one of them is missing. Erzah and Zaemen are good at keeping up with things, but since I have some free time on my hands, I decide that maybe the ship's landing gear needs a diagnostic check.
It allows me to stay outside and look busy, which is perfect...because I'm not ready to go back on the ship just yet.
I have the vague feeling that I've messed up somehow. That Ruthie's mystery illness and snappy mood this afternoon are due to me. I've upset her somehow, and when Ruth is upset, she gets sick. Therefore it makes sense that Ruthie has the potential of doing the same. I feel awful about it, and I don't know how to fix it.
The only solution I have? Flinging myself at Ruthie and demanding that she fall in love with me already, because I'm getting tired of waiting.
Except that's not entirely true. I'll wait forever for her if I have to. I'm her safe space. I want her to trust me. And if it means swallowing my pride and furtively jerking off in the shower for the next ten years, well...it's not the worst future. But I don't know that Ruthie would take kindly to my begging today, so I fiddle with the ship's landing equipment and pretend like there are gears that need cleaning.
When the sun goes down and the floodlights kick on at the space port, Risda's bugs come out. They drone noisily, flitting through the air and landing on me like I'm a tasty snack. I smack a few of them off of my skin, but I must taste pretty good because they're not letting up. It's a sign that I need to go inside.
With a heavy sigh, I finish my diagnostic and put my datapad in my belt holster, heading into the ship at long last. Once inside, I can hear Dopekh yelling something at Jerzec, and the music over the comm means that Aithar is on bridge duty. I'm guessing that Ruthie is probably with her sisters in the rec room, so I head to the mess hall instead.
Erzah is inside, slurping down an enormous bowl of noodles. He likes to make two or three servings at once, insisting that the “flavor is better” that way. He doesn't look up when I enter, just mumbles something that might be a greeting and continues reading something on his datapad. Probably reading the seller information about the location we visited today. It wasn't much to look at in my eyes, but Erzah was excited over it. He'd stayed behind to talk to the owner while I headed back to the ship...and promptly dithered with the landing gear instead of talking to Ruthie.
I think about the smiling woman that I met earlier today—the flirty one. Erzah would probably like her, and she seemed eager to please. She also didn't mind that I was a clone, which means she wouldn't mind that Erzah is, either. She's perfect for him. I head over to his table and pull my datapad out, flicking the woman's contact information onto the screen.