Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 101505 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 406(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101505 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 406(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
Little by little, I’ve told her almost all there is to tell. That makes her up to speed with Andi and Caroline. Almost up to speed, that is, because I’m not even sure I’ve been fully open with myself about my feelings. I certainly haven’t clued any of my friends in to how many complicated, mixed emotions I’ve felt since coming back home to Frosty Harbor–since Nolan came back in my life. I’ve just settled for pushing forward when the doubts creep in. As long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other, it’s pretty hard to look backwards.
“There was that thing outside the bar a couple weeks ago,” I say. “Or when he blew up at Zander. Or…” I sigh, tossing my hands up in frustration. “I just get so pissed at him lately. It’s like he’s two different people.”
“Do you like either of them?” Andi asks.
“What?”
“If he’s two people. Do you like either of them?”
I laugh. “I don’t know? There’s the playboy Nolan I still don’t fully buy. Part of me kind of wondered if I was going to wind up letting that version of him sleep with me. Just because it seemed less threatening, I guess? I knew that version of him only wanted sex and nothing complicated. And it’s not like I’ve got time to be meeting guys and dating right now, so that didn’t seem like the worst thing in the world.”
“Wait,” Caroline says. “You wanted to sleep with Nolan and you didn’t? What stopped you?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “Opportunity? Every time I was about to give in and let it happen, we’d get mad at eachother. And then he moved out of the cabin and we’ve barely spoken.”
“That’s the only reason?” Andi asks. She’s watching me carefully with her dark black hair pulled back from her face, eyes intent and curious.
“That’s it,” I say, neglecting to admit how it’s not really “it”. I don’t want to say out loud how some part of me worries that sleeping with Nolan, under any circumstance, will just make it that much harder to fight the feelings I don’t want to have for him.
“What would you say to him if you guys were one on one right now?” Caroline asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know. But I don’t need to worry about it, either. He has kind of stopped trying, I think. I guess I should be glad. I’ve been basically pushing him away every chance I get. And it would be stupid if I wanted him to keep chasing me when all he’s doing is respecting my wishes for once.”
“Hmm,” Caroline says, eyes twinkling.
“How are you feeling?” I ask Andi, hoping to change the subject to something less unsettling.
“Great. Somehow, nobody ever told me my boobs were going to swell up like spring chickens. It’s great. I’m thinking of asking Jesse to motorboat me,” she adds with a secretive smile. “They’ve never really been big enough for that, but I’ve always kind of wondered…”
“Sounds like the pregnancy is making you a little horny, too,” Caroline adds, rolling her eyes.
Andi laughs. “Oh, absolutely. Jesse says we’re going to have to be pregnant more often. I’m not sure I disagree.”
We start talking about baby names, baby shower plans, and all the fun baby stuff for the next few minutes. I hardly even notice when Caroline gets up and heads out to the deck where the guys are.
I do notice the way Jake cranes his neck toward her and watches the whole time as she stops and says something at the table.
“Mia?” Andi asks. “Is it that bad of a name?” she snaps her fingers, trying to get my attention. She was just asking me what I thought about the name Tragedeigh, and I couldn’t tell if she was joking, so I didn’t want to answer.
I realize I’m staring because Nolan just pushed his chair back and is getting up, like Caroline invited him inside.
“No, it’s great,” I say, still distracted.
“Really?” Andi laughs. “If you like that one, you’re officially banned from sharing your input on future names. It is decided!” She adds in a high pitched, queenly tone.
The door opens and Nolan comes in, ducking his head a little because he’s so stupidly tall. He eyes me. “You wanted to talk? Should we go out front?”
I look at Caroline and bulge my eyes.
“I didn’t say I wanted to talk,” I say slowly, hoping I sound as confused as I feel.
“She said you’d say that,” Nolan says. “I’ll just wait out front.”
He walks across the living room and out the front door.
I bolt up to my feet, whisper-yelling. “What did you do?”
“I thought you looked like you needed to talk. So I told him you wanted to talk. And that you’d try to say you never asked to talk. He seemed excited, almost. So go talk to him!”