Total pages in book: 45
Estimated words: 43920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 220(@200wpm)___ 176(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 220(@200wpm)___ 176(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
“Okay,” I managed to get out after a moment.
He took a breath. “Number two, I haven’t slept with anyone since I saw you last. And while we both know why, I just…”
“Tell me,” I demanded.
He shrugged. “It’s easy, right? To go without.”
“Is it?”
“Well, for me. I mean, I got used to having you in bed with me. You know exactly what I need, always, and give it to me. How could I ever replace a man who’s perfect for me?”
I looked away because I needed to make sure not a single stray tear touched my cheek.
“And you?”
When I turned to look at him, I saw that he was waiting, ready, girding himself for what I was going to say.
“I know it’s been a long time, Chris, and you need sex and—”
“I need good sex, the connection kind, not meaningless encounters,” I rasped. “You know that.”
His smile came slowly, and the way it spread and made his eyes warm, it was hard not to smile back. “I do know that. Thank you for reminding me.”
“But that could change,” I argued as he closed the distance between us. “Someone could walk in here tomorrow and—”
“Nobody’s walking in here,” he said, reaching me and sliding his hand around the side of my neck, his thumb tracing over my jaw. “There’s only me, and that’s because of number three.”
“What’s number three?”
“Here,” he said, passing me his phone, both of his hands free to slide over my shoulders.
Number three on his stupid phone said that no one could love me like he could, or more than he could, because no one loved me more than he did.
“You love me more than anyone?”
“Yes,” he whispered, hands slipping around the sides of my neck. “And you can’t debate that with me because you know it’s true.”
I stared into his eyes.
“You have to believe me when I tell you I’m different. I feel it, and I wish you could too,” he said, voice straining. “But I will be here, and I’ll only go away for short amounts of time and then fly right back home to you.”
I shook my head, trying to step free, but he held on so I couldn’t.
“Christopher, I know I used to be an idiot, but not anymore.”
“You were young,” I countered, because I could never stand to hear anyone cut themselves down when whatever the failing was just needed the hindsight of age. “You still are. Give yourself a break and move on.”
He growled softly, and I couldn’t help but grin. The man had always mesmerized me, and that hadn’t changed. “I don’t wanna move on, Chris. You’re the one.”
“After two—”
“Yes, I know, after two years. God, you’re like a broken record,” he said, letting me go and starting to pace.
“And it’s annoying, isn’t it?”
“You have no idea.”
“Then why waste your time?”
“The sarcasm is doing things for me.”
“How about you just work here and we don’t talk. Imagine how easy that would be.”
“But I want to talk to you. I want to do everything with you.”
I shook my head. “It’s too late.”
“No such thing.”
“Listen, you––”
“I used to sleep in your bed every night, Chris,” he reminded me, as if I needed him to. As if there was any way I could ever forget how well we fit together. “I want you to take me back, for no other reason than I’m home for you and you’re home for me.”
“I—”
“Chris!” he yelled. “You’re my home.”
I put his phone down on my desk, amazed it hadn’t gone dark already, and saw that number four was that he knew I had to sleep on whatever side of the bed was closest to the door so I could protect him.
“Aren’t I your home?”
I would never answer that, even with number five being that he missed holding my hand when we walked together.
“Chris?”
And number six was that he knew exactly what to order on my pizza, and from any Chinese restaurant, and that I was a freak who loved wasabi but not soy sauce. In parentheses, it said that I spread it on my sushi like an animal.
The chuckle was hard to stifle.
“What? What’s funny?”
“Like an animal?”
His flashing grin then, bringing out the swirls of cobalt in his inky eyes. “Well, yeah, Chris, come on, that’s just… Who eats just wasabi?”
I took a deep breath in and then exhaled it slowly. “Here’s the thing: us, me and you, that ship has more than sailed, yeah?”
“That’s not what I asked you. I asked if I was your home.”
“Why would you even want to stay here and live with me? You’re a big star now.”
“As I told you before, I knew I had to go and make a name for myself because otherwise I’d always wonder what could have been.”
“That makes perfect sense.”
He was staring at me. “You are so beautiful.”