Total pages in book: 45
Estimated words: 43920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 220(@200wpm)___ 176(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43920 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 220(@200wpm)___ 176(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
“I see. So the place you went to get clean, they take how long you’ve been drinking and smoking and snorting and everything else into consideration?”
“That’s right. It’s in Oregon, out in the fuckin’ boonies, and there’s nothing there but the sky and the sea and this sanctuary for horses.”
“Horses?”
He nodded. “Once you get clean, you start working. Have you ever mucked out stables? That is gross, man.” He exhaled deeply. “But the things I saw there, the things people do to animals they’re supposed to care for… It broke my heart.”
“I bet.”
“So you take care of them, day after day, getting them to trust you, and the whole time you’re eating better, talking to these counselors as you work your ass off. It’s dark when you get up, and it’s dark when you go to bed. I didn’t even dream while I was there. Too fuckin’ tired. I used to shower and fall facedown on my bed, and that was it until the alarm went off the next morning.”
“It sounds like they purge your body and then your mind.”
“Yeah. That’s it exactly.”
“You want to walk with me, get a cup of coffee?”
“As long as it’s close. I gotta get Daw whenever he gets done talking to…well, not you since you’re out here with me so…who? Simone?”
I nodded.
“I figured.”
“Coffee’s right here. C’mon,” I said, hand on his shoulder as we walked.
Three doors down, we got espressos to go, then sat outside on the wide window ledge, which was just like mine outside the club.
“How long were you in rehab?”
“Me and Daw both went twice, three months each time, all at the same place. There’s like a beginners, and then the next level. We were both next-level fucked up.”
“Gotcha.”
“But I think because me and Daw did it together, we were roommates in hell and we both hated it so much, and because we talked about everything, especially our reasons for getting clean, I feel like that made it better, you know? He would remind me about the little girl Angie was carrying, and I would remind him about you.”
I glanced away, because that I could not bear to hear.
“Aw, man, it’s true, but I get that he just showed up outta the blue. I told him a million times, especially after he let the time between phone calls get to be too long, you know? I told him, for fuck’s sake, Daw, call the man and spill your guts, let him know everything that’s goin’ on. Tell him you’re gettin’ clean to come back and start your life.”
But he hadn’t, and that was all right.
“Hey,” Ben said, and I turned to look at him. “So while I was in rehab, Angie came to visit. She said she walks down here all the time to go to the park with Layla and stops in to see you all.”
I nodded. I liked Angela Jackson, and once I had separated her from Ben in my mind, I could see her and her beautiful daughter and not think about a life that could have been. And she must’ve felt the same, otherwise she wouldn’t have renewed our friendship. “Your little girl is gorgeous. You’re so lucky she came out looking like her mother.”
“Oh, fuck you.”
I laughed at him.
“But yeah, you’re right. My little girl is an angel, and so is her mother.”
“So what’s it like now being back out in the world, because there’s still a helluva lot of temptations for you. Is it hard to deal with?”
He shook his head. “I’ll always be an alcoholic, and I miss cigarettes, but the drugs I don’t pine for like all the rest. And when I added up all the money that went into my veins and up my nose… Jesus, that’s college money I don’t have anymore.”
“You have time.”
“No. Not according to Angie. In another three years Layla will have to be enrolled in a very fancy, very expensive preschool, so no. It’s on, starting now, saving money for my kid’s education.”
“So you’re saying, from a purely financial standpoint, no drugs for you?” I teased him.
“I wouldn’t do ’em now even if I could. I have too much to lose.”
“That’s good. So no vices anymore?”
He chuckled. “Only coffee, and I will say I’m a bit of a snob about it. My cafecito is better than they make anywhere in the Quarter.”
“I believe you.”
“Well, you need to come to my house and have some. Angie says she’s invited you a million times, and you sent a gift for the baby shower but didn’t show up.”
“It’s not so easy, Ben. You got your life back, and I’m happy for you. But I would have to be crazy to step back into the whirlwind with Dawson West.
“And I get that. I do,” he affirmed, patting my knee. “But what you’ll realize, when you’re around him a bit, is that he’s nothing like he used to be.”