Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Once I had the wood cut and stacked, I picked vegetables and brought them inside. My skin felt too tight in a way it hadn’t in a long time. It was always like that when I went into town, but this was more. Like it had been when I was young and had been taken from my home to a world that didn’t make sense. Now I understood it better, having used the internet to learn, but I still hated it, didn’t want any part of it.
I thought about going to my art room, but I was too antsy for that, so I changed my clothes, loaded my rifle, grabbed my knife and other hunting supplies, and set out through the army of trees.
I was early—or late, depending on how you looked at it. Deer moved the most at dusk and dawn, but the sun would be setting in a few hours, and I could breathe better out here anyway.
There was no area of this mountain I hadn’t explored. I’d slept under the stars here more times than I could count. Had hunted prey and been prey myself, escaping both bears and mountain lions more than once.
I was in their home. I understood that and tried to respect it as much as possible, but this mountain was my home too. Always had been and always would be. We had to learn to share it. I felt closer to the animals here than the people in town below. Wildlife never hid who they were. They wanted to be left alone or wanted you dead; there wasn’t much in between. They never pretended to be something they weren’t. They didn’t play tricks with your mind, twisting it so they could control you. I would always choose an animal’s nature over a human’s.
My footsteps were soft and quiet as I continued through the forest. The earth made noises around me—a snake in the brush, birds nesting, the wind dancing through the branches—creating the only lullaby I needed. My mother had sung to me as a child—when she could hide from Chosen and do it—but once I’d hit twelve, Chosen had found out and punished us both. I was a man, he said, and it was time to act like it. That she’d put me above him and the Lord, and that was wrong.
I didn’t stop moving until I found the exact spot I needed. I’d been there before, too many times to count. I lowered myself to the ground, keeping alert, aware of my surroundings, while also closing my eyes, focusing on my hearing rather than my sight. I felt closer to nature this way, could let go of the things inside my head and just be.
I didn’t know how long I sat out there, but the time didn’t matter. When I heard the crack of a twig, I opened my eyes and slowly slid the rifle from around my back. I didn’t make a sound as I turned around. I raised the gun, looked through the scope, and aimed.
The doe was gone before she realized it, and she would help feed me this winter.
*
“Why aren’t any other kids here?” I asked Chosen as we sat in his sanctuary, the place where he worshipped. We had one for the whole community, but he had his own as well. It was only because of him that any of us were becoming Enlightened, and the only way to continue on our journey was through Chosen.
“Why do you ask questions you know the answers to? It is beneath you. How are you ever supposed to become truly Enlightened and walk beside me if you can’t do anything right?”
His words pressed down on my heart like the heel of a boot, smashing it into the ground. “I’m sorry, Chosen. I just…it’s lonely.”
He sighed, clearly tired of me and all the ways I messed up. “That’s your fault. You’re supposed to be able to see past those lies like loneliness. That is not where true Enlightenment comes from. Where is that?”
“From you, Chosen.” He was the answer to every question. Only through him would the world be saved. When the world ended, only Chosen’s followers would be left behind to start over again and then be in the company of the Lord.
“Exactly, Crow.” He walked over and stood beside me. I was sitting at a table, studying the lesson he’d given me for today. He needed to pass all his knowledge on to me so that I could walk by his side, so if anything ever happened to him, I would be able to fill his shoes. Since he was Chosen by God, if I could be good enough, that meant I could be Chosen by him too. “This is your burden to bear, and you must bear it for your family, for your mother, for any chance of reaching Enlightenment and being free. You want that, don’t you?”