Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
He did.
After I left him at the tree, I ran back up to my room. I cried in my pillow like the heroine from a melodrama whose destiny was just ripped from her fingers. Then I pulled myself together. I let anger consume me and shed my wings. I changed into the clothes my mother had picked out for me and did my makeup to give myself a smoky, seductive look before going in search of his twin brother. I invited him to dance on the floor that no one was dancing on, not until Shepard accepted my invitation and we started slow dancing to fast music.
And every second I spent in the arms of his brother, I missed his.
I missed their quiet strength, the steely muscles, the way they curled around me, keeping me safe from falling as if he really was my bodyguard and his job was to save me from myself.
From all the insane things I do.
“Well, from where I was standing, you looked pretty fucking happy to me,” he declares.
“I wasn’t,” I tell him, accusation still laced in my tone. “And you weren’t looking.”
“Is that why you were dancing with him,” he asks, “because you wanted me to look?”
“I was—” I pull myself back once again.
I catch myself in time from uttering the truth.
I’m not going to betray Shepard like that.
Not after what happened tonight. Not after how he laid himself bare in front of me while his twin can’t even be bothered to conjure up one little emotion for me. If someone deserves to know the whole truth first, it’s Shepard.
Not him.
So I say, “I was dancing with him because I wanted to.”
He waits to respond back because, once again, taking a drag is more important to him than me. “I’m glad you got what you wanted then.”
I’m clenching my teeth.
I’m clenching my belly too, holding my muscles tight lest I burst out of my body.
“I did,” I agree and then add because I just can’t help myself, “Because he’s more my type than you ever were.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.” I raise my chin, rubbing my arms anew. “He’s more fun and adventurous. Impulsive.”
“Yeah, he’s that.”
“I know you’re twins, but nothing, not one thing, about you and him is the same. You don’t even look alike.”
“Hmm. Not sure you know the meaning of identical then.”
I scoff. “Technically, yes, you’re identical twins. But not really. Not to me. I can tell you both apart with just one look.”
I totally can.
And I still can’t believe that others can’t.
Again, he chooses to smoke first. Then, “Sounds like you’ve done a lot of looking.”
Yes. You.
I’ve spent a lot of time looking at you.
I dig my nails into my arms. “Of course I have. He’s my boyfriend.”
After this, I take a few seconds to recover.
Because this is the first time I’ve said it.
The first time I’ve said these words.
Directly.
I’ve never said them before. To anyone. I’ve danced around it. I’ve beaten around the bush when people talk to me about it. I’ve never corrected people when they’ve assumed. But actually using the exact words, that I haven’t done.
Not until now.
Not until him.
I didn’t think, though, that it would be so hard. To lie. Not only because lying is a skill I’m good at and very comfortable with but also because this is exactly what I wanted.
This is my dream come true.
To throw these words at him and watch him burn with jealousy.
Only I can’t see him all that well and the only thing that’s burning is me.
“So I guess I was your destiny after all,” he muses after a few seconds.
“You… What?”
“Because you wouldn’t be with him”—he releases a puff of smoke—“if you hadn’t met me.”
God.
God.
I just…
I can’t contain myself.
I can’t contain all these rioting feelings inside of me.
I can’t.
“You know, people think you’re this great guy,” I say, my nails cutting into my flesh. “Stellan Thorne, great coach. Great ex-soccer player. Great brother. Great, great, great. But you’re not, are you? You’re a fucking asshole in disguise.”
The whole Bardstown thinks he’s one of the good guys.
A straight A student while growing up; an amazing soccer player just like the rest of his brothers who could’ve gone pro if he wanted to but chose to be a coach; a saint of a brother who stepped up and took care of his siblings when their dad took off and their mother tragically died.
He’s the quietest of the bunch; even quieter than their oldest brother Conrad Thorne. All the Thorne brothers have always had a spotlight on them, either from the way they grew up or from the fact that they’re the soccer royalty of this town. Conrad Thorne, the greatest soccer coach there ever was; Shepard Thorne, the captain of the team that he’s helped resurrect from the dead; Ledger Thorne, one of the most promising up-and-comers with a bright future in the European league.