Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Taking a deep breath, I turn to Shepard, who’s entered the bedroom as well. And then there are a few seconds of awkward silence between us, which I hate.
Then grimacing, he begins, “You weren’t supposed to… You weren’t supposed to see that.”
I shake my head. “It’s… I—”
He rakes his fingers through his hair. “Look, I can explain. I can—”
“No.”
“Isadora, you—”
“No, seriously.” I thrust my hand out. “You…” I swallow. “You don’t have to.” He opens his mouth to say something, but I keep going. “I know you think you need to explain because we’re engaged, but I… I—”
“We are not,” he says and finally breathes.
I can see that.
His chest moves up and down with a long breath.
“What?”
“Well, technically, we are,” he corrects, again grimacing. “But we aren’t, not really.”
“I don’t… What?”
He studies me for a few moments, his features grave, his eyes heavy and penetrating. And for a second, he looks so similar to his twin brother that I lose my breath. He looks identical and I know technically they are but still.
I’ve never seen him look this grim.
Not even on the night he came to me with the truth. He was angry then, yes, but not like this. He wasn’t carved out from stone.
“It was fake,” he says.
“What was fake?”
“Our engagement.”
I blink. “Our engagement was fake.”
Again, he studies me for a few seconds with those dark, penetrating eyes of his. “You said you loved him.”
Something slams in my chest and does it hard. And I have to take a step back before answering, “Yes.”
He grits his jaw. “You haven’t stopped, have you?”
Biting my lip, I shake my head. “No.”
“Not even after what he did.”
I swallow again. “No.”
Again, his first response is to take me in as if to make sure that what I’m telling is the truth. And when he’s made sure, he gives me a slow nod. “So I was trying to give you want you want.”
“What?”
Sighing, he thrusts his hands down his pockets. “He told me to.”
“I-I’m sorry?”
“That night,” he explains. “When he came to the bar to tell me. What he did. He told me to take care of you. He told me to give you whatever you wanted. To make you happy. So that’s what I was trying to do. You wanted him, you want him, so I was trying to give him to you.”
A tear rolls down my cheek. “He asked you to give me anything I wanted.”
“He was pretty adamant about it,” he shares.
He was, wasn’t he?
Because that’s who he is.
That’s what he does.
He told me that every breath he takes is about me, didn’t he? And here’s proof. Every breath he takes is for me. Every thought he has is about me. Every beat of his wildfire heart has my name on it.
If only he loved me too.
If only he believed that he could love me and that it could be a good thing. Not some childish emotion put on this earth to torment him.
I’ll even take that, you see.
Just his belief that we belong together. Like I believe. In his goodness and his darkness. In all the things that makes him him.
“How would…” I swallow again, still unable to understand. “How would asking me to marry you would… give me that?”
He sighs. “I thought asking you to marry me would give him the push to ask you himself.” Then, “Look, I could see that he wanted you, okay? I hate to admit it. It fucking kills me to admit that he wants you too. He… feels something for you. Which is very novel for my brother. He doesn’t feel anything for anyone. He’s cold as ice. Well, except somehow when it comes to you. But I would’ve still let him suffer. I would’ve let him fucking burn in hell. But then…” He shakes his head. “Then I saw you. I saw your face. I… I saw how heartbroken you were over what he did, over how he hurt you. And I”—he shrugs—“had to step back. I had to step away. Not for him. But for you.”
I want to cry.
I want to break down and start sobbing.
For everything. For everything I did. Everything Shepard went through, that I put him through. Every hurt, every second of his torment because of me.
Despite all that, he still chose to put me above him.
He still chose to not only remain my friend but actually work toward giving me what I want.
But I hold on because I’ve already done that. I’ve already broken down once and leaned on his strength. It’s his turn now. He needs the strength from me. He needs someone to lean on too.
So that’s what I do.
I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his body, around my best friend. “I’m sorry. You have no idea, Shepard, how sorry I am.”