Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 26008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 130(@200wpm)___ 104(@250wpm)___ 87(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26008 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 130(@200wpm)___ 104(@250wpm)___ 87(@300wpm)
It's all my fault. I could kill myself for what just happened to my sweet love. I’d do anything to turn back time, but what can I do now? Self-harm, to get myself into the hospital? Turn myself in, but for what exactly? For being too trusting? For being too stupid? Again, I’d do anything to re-write these past few hours.
I take Tess’s small hand in mine, squeezing gently as tears fill my eyes. Fuck, she’s so pale as she lies against the pillow, almost blending in with the white sheets and pillowcase. But then, her lashes flutter, and slowly, the beautiful girl comes to.
She coughs at first, and I rush to hand her a glass of water, from which she sips.
“Roland?” she asks in a hoarse voice. “Oh my god. Tell me it isn’t true.”
I look down at our joined hands.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” I say in a low rasp. “I completely fucked up. I never should have believed the guards when they said I’d earned kitchen privileges for my visit with you. Kitchen privileges aren’t exactly handed out like candy, and I was the dumb fuck who leapt on the opportunity without questioning it first. I was stupid.”
The tears in my eyes threaten to spill, and I look down at the white hospital sheets as my heart breaks. I’m the cause of this trauma to my beautiful girl, and all because of what? Because I wanted to have a romantic date where we’d cook together? I wouldn’t blame Tess if she never talked to me again after what’s happened.
Meanwhile, the beautiful brunette coughs again, stirring slightly in the infirmary bed.
“But do you know those men?” she asks in a hoarse voice, her brown eyes searching. “Have you ever seen them before?”
I nod, miserable.
“Yes. The blonde and redhead are prisoners in Block Five. I see them around sometimes. I definitely know the prison guards too because they’re always on patrol. They work at Fishkill full-time, so you get to know your captors.”
Tess nods, taking another swallow of water.
“So they tricked you into thinking we were safe using the kitchen,” she says in a slow voice.
I nod as tears begin to stream down my cheeks. Fuck, this is so unmanly, but I don’t care. I swipe at my cheeks furiously, hating myself even more.
“They did,” I say in a low, shaky voice. “I never should have believed them when they said we could use the kitchen for our date. It was a fucking lie, and now, look what’s happened. I’ll never forgive myself.”
Tess nods again, still looking wan and pale. But there’s a bit of color in her cheeks, and her lips are plump and a tantalizing shade of light pink.
“No, I understand,” she says in a whisper. “It was an accident.”
By now, tears are dripping off my chin but I don’t care. The waterworks represent how I feel, and if I become a sobbing, blubbering mess, then so be it.
“I’m so sorry,” I rasp again, squeezing Tess’s small palm. “I would do anything to re-do the last twenty-four hours. I would serve a second jail term. I’d cut off my little finger, or even an entire arm. I’m just so sorry, honey,” I cry out. “What happened to you is basically the worst thing that can happen to a woman, and it’s all my fault.”
I bury my head in her lap then, overcome by guilt. What the hell was I thinking? How could I have believed those guards? They’ve never liked me, and I’ve never been popular among the prison population either. If anything, those fuckers had it out for me since Day One, and now, Tess has paid the price.
But then I feel her small hand stroking my head, like I’m a puppy that needs to be soothed.
“No, it’s okay,” she repeats in a scratchy voice. “It was an accident. Besides, I’m fine, and not traumatized at all.”
I lift my head slowly to look at her, my vision still blurry with tears.
“I’m sorry?”
Tess shoots me a wobbly smile and sighs.
“I’m pretty much okay with what just happened to me. I mean, I’m sore of course, but there’s no tearing or anything like that. I’m fine mentally, too. You don’t have to worry, Roland.”
I stare at her pale features.
“Tess, you don’t know what you’re saying,” is my low growl. “You were just gangbanged by a group of five men, and the fact is that they targeted you because they hate me, and this was just a way for them to hurt me. You literally paid with your body for my sins.”
Tess nods, looking away for a moment.
“They don’t know me, that’s true,” she acknowledges. “But I think the prison guards have seen me coming and going during my past visits to Fishkill, and the other two prisoners have been around too,” she says in a low voice. “I saw them using the cabin next door while we were in our cabin,” she says. “My folly was thinking they couldn’t see me because that obviously wasn’t true. Maybe they were having sex, but they saw me just like I saw them.”