Total pages in book: 160
Estimated words: 149137 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 746(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 497(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 149137 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 746(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 497(@300wpm)
Only her. For the rest of his life. If he never saw her again after tomorrow, he would go to his grave with the taste of her on his lips.
“I do love you.” He whispered the words against her flesh.
He flexed his hips and his cock found its home. It was like the damn thing knew exactly where to go. He thrust inside because she was already wet and ready for him. No woman in the world had ever responded the way she did, as though she’d been built specifically for him.
Was he willing to let that go? For any fucking reason?
“I love you, Joshua. I love you so much.” Her arms wound around his neck. She held him like she would never let him go.
He pumped into her, his whole being focused on their connection. When he was inside her, he didn’t think about what she’d done, how they didn’t work. When he was inside her all that mattered was the here and now, and it was perfect.
He thrust and thrust, his mouth finding hers again and taking over. His lips moved over hers, tongue delving deep inside, imitating the hard moves of his cock. He wanted to penetrate her in every way, to connect them as physically as they could possibly be connected. This was it. This was the final moment of his time with her and he wanted to make it last.
Because he would give her up.
Wouldn’t he?
The idea of a crazy-bitch warrior goddess who would love him and be with him and fucking protect him for the rest of his life—that was the wish of his childhood self. The adult, the man he’d become long before his childhood should have ended, knew she was a lie the universe told. She was another trick. Another falsehood. Another beautiful dream he would wake up from.
Long before he wanted to give up, she tightened around him, all those seemingly delicate muscles deep inside her milking him for all they were worth. He couldn’t fight her. That was the truth of his existence. He was weak when he should be strong.
He was hard when it would be smarter to be soft.
He was stubborn when he should yield.
Josh let the orgasm wash over him, even as something deeper worked on his soul. She would be with him always. There was no way to wash her away or cleanse himself. And to even seek it was stupid. She was the clean part of him. She was the part that believed he’d never been dirtied at all.
“I love you.” He said the words as though he couldn’t keep them from coming out of his mouth. He said them as his insistent cock faded and all that was left was the emotion he wanted badly to dam up and hide. Like that Edgar Allan Poe short. He wanted to take his heart and put it underground, but it kept beating for her. It kept insisting and begging and prodding until he couldn’t hear anything but the beat, that fucking rhythm it had taken the moment she walked into his life.
“I love you,” she replied. “I’ll always love you. I’ll always want you. I’ll always be waiting for you to come home to me, Josh. After this is done, I think I’m going to retire. After one last job, I’m going back to Santa Barbara and I’m going to find that stupid girl I was and see what happens, but know the woman I am will always be waiting. Even when I’m old and gray. There will only ever be you for me.”
She wrapped her arms around him, her affection something he’d come to rely on. Such easy affection, as though her soul had known his without effort or cause. As if she’d simply loved him from the beginning, no restrictions or clauses.
As if the universe had known what he’d lost, had never had, and formed this perfection of love meant only for him, to lift him up, a prize he’d won simply because he’d survived the worst. Love at its purest. At its rarest.
But how could he trust it?
She kissed him and left the shower, leaving him alone.
As he’d always been. As he would be if he couldn’t be the brave man she thought he was.
He stood under the shower, praying for strength.
* * * *
He was the single most beautiful man she’d ever seen and her heart was oddly peaceful. Josh stood across the room from her, looking perfectly cast as the Hollywood star in his tailored tuxedo. His hair was slicked back, showing off his perfectly chiseled features and those swoon-worthy eyes. Every woman in the room had eyes on him. A whole lot of the men, too.
It was going to be okay. Something had settled between them after that moment in the shower. She’d made her play, told him how she felt. If she lost him anyway, she would take her love and put it into something else because she knew there was only one man for her.